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Showing posts with label Working. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Working. Show all posts

Monday, April 23, 2012

Desteni Farm and the Equal Labour System


Here on the desteni farm we all work together to get something done in order to improve the farm. In work at home I am only working in existing or myself because the job that I do is only for me, my money and my survival. Here it is not about survival it is about what is best for all, we have to labour for the best for the gardens, plants, animals, structures, humans, all life here that we deal with.

There is no profit motive for us to work. There is an understanding that if we don’t work then the farm here will be infested with weeds, the horses would not have enough food, the animals would be angry at us for not taking care of them, the plants would die out, not being able to provide food, the structures would start to crumble, it must be upkept. In this understanding we work together to maintain the place in which we all live and create it as a place that we all enjoy living within. We put in a collective effort to maintain and develop the farm. The girls work with the garden and plants, where the boys will work with the heavy labour, in this the boys build a garden and the girls will plant all the plants, both working collectively and both share in the rewards of the food grown or shelter built etcetera.

In comparison to my job where I work to survive within the matrix of the world, it can be argued that we all work collectively to get the job done but this is not in fact so. We don’t collectively agree to take a certain job because of a `fair` distribution of jobs, but we take them because they provide us the most money. In that we are actually fighting eachother, not working in agreement to work for the collective of the workforce. As well the job is based on a percentage rate, and the higher percentage you get above a base percentage the more money you get, so we all decide to fuck each other over because we are working in order to survive, not working in collective to get the job done, but always in competition with each other, which leads to extreme stress at times. For example at an office job and there is a promotion coming up and you and another have the opportunity to get the promotion, we stress ourselves out in order to get the promotion to receive more money, so that we can `live` a `better` life. Taking that into consideration, here we are working together so that we all live a better life, where in my job we all compete so that only a few can live a better life, which is not in consideration of what is best for all

The amount of work that we get done is phenomenal. Here we can see the results at the end of the day. We see the garden that has been rotovated, and we see the amount of work that has been put in, and with only 8 guys we have gotten more done with physical results than I have ever participated in. We all have specific jobs, same as the capitalistic system, that we work on and in the end bring it all together so that a project is finished for the whole of the farm. In the capitalistic system we all have specific jobs that we all participate in and in the end we do not benefit the whole but in fact destroy the whole through separation within/as our own greed of money and the necessity to survive in competition with others…simply look at the world and how it’s path is heading and you can see that we are in fact destroying the whole instead of working in agreement within equality and oneness that in fact support the whole to live within the best possible living standards/conditions that is possible in any given moment.

This is equal to how the Equal Money Labour system will work within the Equal Money System, Not working for Profit but for the consideration of the whole, because our living need will be met, thus we need no more than what we have, and when I say need, it is NOT bare minimum needs but a car, a computer, an internet connection, all that one in fact needs in this world. The only thing that is left is to work in agreement to maintain and expand ourselves within/as this world to make all life here expand equal and one with us as we expand when working together, for example in places where there is no infrastructure the motivation is not money but the need for infrastructure, thus the more people work on and agree that infrastructure is needed, the faster it will be developed. It is all based on the needs for people and self. In this all life here works together to make this world the best place in equality and oneness, not in separation from ourselves as our neighbours in how we are existing now. The Equal Labour system will in fact be enjoyable and one is allowed to work at one’s own pace without stress of having to survive within working, the job that needs to get done will get done through the collective participation in all that do in fact participate in it. For example my back has been an issue from working my job. When I got here, started working and felt back pain, they told me not to push myself because then I would compromise myself for the rest of the week/month. In my job I am still required to hit standards whether or not it compromises myself or not I am still expected to hit my standards and this is where the stress can come in as well, and we are all susceptible to this. Where in the Equal Labour System there is no need for profit on the whole so those who `employ` will have the best interest of the `employees` always in consideration without waver. This is why we must implement the Equal Money System, so that we are able to work together, but we also must stop the competition within ourselves, here we are working within a capitalistic system but we are not in competition with each other, we are working for the whole, not individual selves. Visit equalmoney.org, read the material, participate in the discussions and share your vote.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Not being Here.


Here I am in breath. While I am not here I am thinking about some situation or possibility or what if or outcome or what to eat all in contexts of what is not here at the moment meaning It is not in my direct reality and I cannot physically participate with it.

I had an experience of not being here at work today and it is a vivid one, meaning I experience myself not here quite frequently with participating in thoughts of what ifs and speculation etc etc, yet this one was a bit more `interesting`.

I was working and at my job it is VERY systematic as is most jobs in this world, so once we get used to it we can basically go through our jobs blindfolded and deaf. I was low as well, meaning blood sugar low and when this happens I have noticed I participate much more in thoughts or negativity, and I cannot establish myself as effectively in the physical.

I pick cases at a warehouse on put them on skids, so I was moving from my machine to the slot and putting it on the skid and this entire movement I had no awareness of. Meaning I was not able to place it as myself I was not in the physical doing this action it was systematic it was automatic. I got back to my machine and was about to pick up another case and I saw that I had no memory of moving from the machine and picking up that last case and putting on the skid. I was not here in the physical at all I was not here I was completely not here I didn’t even remember the sights that I saw while doing that action which I am usually able to do, my senses were shut off to me, If someone asked me exactly what happened in that moment I could not tell them truth I could only relate to past experiences.  

Looking at this it is very dangerous to participate in reality like this yet we all do as we are all constantly thinking about what ifs, or speculating, or thinking about what they will do in the future = programming ourselves, or thinking about memories etc etc, Most of the time we are not here in the physical. Most of the time we humans are not aware of the physical, aware of our physical actions, aware of our physical breath, aware of our hearing or sight or anything that is PHYSICAL.

This is how FUCKED the mind is. It is not a benevolent placement of the human, it is devious as hell and separate from the physical though/as thinking thus we are not able to be here with the physical with our true selves, and since we are separate from our true selves, we believe that the mind is us, that thoughts are us, when in reality we are HERE in the physical in breath, in/as our senses. For an experiment go through your day and see how many things you have not heard the entire time = electrical noises, or birds, or cars, mostly ambient noises, and then realize that they were always making that sound, YOU were just not HEREing, so where were you? Then look at the thoughts and if they have any relevancy to Reality = what is here = what we can physically participate with in the moment HERE.

This is what desteni has shown me and many others, but in essence they showed me the opportunity and the fact that I had the ability to see, in essence I saw, desteni showed me the tools on how to allow myself to see. Desteni showed us that we are not here and to take our power back = our RESPONSEability = we must be here to respond correctly, or else we are only responding within/as a system = a pre-programmed automatic response. Our responsibility is our ability to respond through being here  and through taking our ability to respond back to us through being HERE we are taking our power back as ourselves = we are taking our power back from the systems that WE have ACCEPTED giving it up to.

This is what being a destonian is about. It is about taking our responseability of/as ourselves and responding with what is best for all so that we may bring about what is best for all. Being able to see what is best for all is a simple accumulation process of 1+1+1, looking at the consequence of each action that we participate in and what will be the side effects as well.

So no more speculation about what/how desteni is operating, it is out in the open it is for all to see, yet the irony is that you must allow yourself to see reality which through/as the mind you cannot as the mind is not in reality, it is in a sphere or a delusion self created reality, where as REALality is not SELF created it is created by ALL as self, it is a accumulation of all of us to make ONE reality. Stand up to see your true self, forgive yourself for all that we are holding onto as a collective community (the world) let it all go so that we may see what is here, let ourselves unconditionally go from the mind as we are the only ones who are enslaving ourselves.  Join Desteni, share and start investigating yourself at http://desteni.co.za – it is time to stop the mind so that we can get ourselves back to reality where we BREATHE, not think.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Letting go of Anger and Happiness.

I have been able to get over anger easier in the past few days. I would in the past sit on anger and blame all others for my own anger. The past few days I was feeling very aggitated because of my own actions and occurances within my own life.

One example is at work. I was cutting open a skid, and the skid had some product removed from it.  I thought nothing of it but when I did open it everything started to fall. Some milk spilt....lol crying over spilt milk. And other product fell and broke and I had to clean it up. I thought that one of my co-workers opened and removed the product from the boxes. I immediately blamed others for what I went through. The reality was that this was my own fault and no others. I was backchatting after this happened, and `dealing` with my anger through that. I noticed myself participating in this and stopped it and forgave it. And was able to actually get rid of the anger with using breath and forgiveness. I was trying to not take responsibility for this by thinking of smoking. I stopped that and took responsibility for my own anger and let it go. This was all related to time and work. I Was stressed that this event took up time and that I had to use all of my time effectively and that this event took away time. I was stressed that this would affect my job, and that my manager would look down on me for not getting my work done and `trust` me less to do my job. I was able to let all of this go by taking responsibility for this.

The second time I got angry was the day after. Everything was going `wrong`. I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave for work. The sidewalks were not plowed. All of this was leading up to being late to work and again I was stressed about the whole responsibility for work. I was having trouble letting this go. I then started to do a recording. And within doing that  Iwas able to see everything that I was holding within and not allowing myself to see clearly. Again usually I would allow myself to exist in anger for hours and it would compound.
These are examples of how I have been able to now allow myself to let go of anger.

Recently I have been taking on my happiness. I am addicted to happiness. Each time I talk to a person or communicate I try and gain some type of happiness from that experience. I am always making light of a situation...=consciousness. Anyhow, what I have been doing within work is letting go of that energy immediately. I will talk and laugh with a co-worker and then immediately let it go. I have allowed that situation to replay within my mind thousand times over so that I could become happy and happy and ahppy and happy. I have been stopping this as happiness has allowed me to take myself away from what is real. Away from what is actually happening in this world, and my constant search for it is abusive unto myself. Fidelis said in a video that he uses the past to look for happiness within the present, this is exactly what I do, I do it with the immediate past and any other situation that has made me happy that I have locked into place within my mind. So I have been stopping this as it is a must.

When Ido this I have that energetical feeling within me and I breathe and `dispell` it immediately. I do not allow myself to sit on that feeling thus allowing myself to retain this happiness and `psychotic` smile upon my face. It literally is psychotic because I am smiling at nothing, only what is existent within my mind, it is not being here. Slowly I am applying myself in not participating in these happy conversations. I find it hard as it is an addiction. Slowly but surely I will get this done!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Education System

I am reading the book generation debt and there is a paradox within this book that will lead to the same shit just compounded. So the whole problem that is facing the education system is the fact that getting a higher education is costing quite a bit of money, and within this people are having to get loans to pay for college thus ending up with debt at the end of it having to pay off that debt for another 10 years after they have graduated. The extra problem in this is that the degree that they go to college for will not provide them a job within their field to sufficiently pay off their debt and support themselves within the system. So a few quotes within the book simply state that we must get parents to get larger loans to help their offspring to go to school and finish school…but that still leaves them with the same fucking problem! That just compounds the problem. The parents are then left with the debt which many cannot pay off…just because they are `parents` does not mean that they can simply pay for one to go to college. I suggest do not take out a loan unless you know that you will be able to pay it off, and do not collect debt, as debt is the death of many people in this world.


The advice from `experts` is irrational they are just speaking from a financial point of view, an economic point of view. Banks benefit and the colleges benefit but the people don’t. They still end up with debt..so the experts are only trying to support the banks and colleges further in trying to get more students to go to college by trying to convince the parents to take the debt just so that the kids can afford the entire way through college only to end up on the other end still with no opportunity for a job and then still having that debt and still in the same position

So here is a contrast between me and my sister. She went to college, I didn’t. K so she decided to go to college, she ended up taking out a $10,000 loan to put towards her 3 year education at the college. She went there for a year and decided that she did not want to continue. That loan now needs to be paid off. They only allow it to continue if a person continues their education. She is in a very tough position financially right now, using up every last cent of her income to pay off debt and loans. And there is not much that she can do, but to only continue this until she has got herself out of debt. As well my father co-signed for the $10,000 loan to help her and if she can’t pay it, which she will not be able to, he is going to have to pay it in full, as again they only allow the loan to continue to collect interest if someone is in school, and since she is out they are demanding that she pay it off. So this creates a large conflict between her and my parents because of the money factor, which is sad because this shows that relationships are all dependant on money.

I did not go to college. I was living at home jobless from 18-20, until I started to get kicked out. I ended up getting a job and saving up enough to rent out a place, and then I ended up getting another part-time job to help with money. I am now working 2 part-time jobs, and do not mind where I am at financially. I have no debt, I am actually able to save some money for me to go to school if needed, and I am making sure that I have enough money to go before I decide to go so I do not create unnecessary debt for myself. So I know that within 2 years I will be have at least $10,000 saved up to go to college or further my education where necessary, and again I will not mind doing this for 4 years if need be to make the money for me to go to college. I was able to set myself up financially and take responsibility for my income early on and get myself prepared to go deeper into the system. The only issue right now is job-security, I have one job secured but the other is definitely needed and am working on stabilizing that point.

So right now the education system is taking a turn for the worst. I suggest until governments start funding the education system or until an Equal Money system is put in place do not go to college unless you KNOW that you have the money. And unless you KNOW that there is job security within that field. I am able to support myself by working 2 part-time jobs. Do not take out debt that you know you will have a hard time paying back. It is useless to participate in the system where the individual is constantly fucked around only for profit of banks and colleges. As well An Equal Money System will erase all of this shit existent within/as this system so Support it if you can use common sense.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sharing my Life

Right now I am working 2 jobs that I do not really mind, I was getting very low hours and decided to switch positions to a facilities shift at the clothing store job, meaning that I clean the washrooms and floors. This position provides guaranteed hours which I like and need, and the work I enjoy as well I move at my own pace and there is absolutely no stress that I create. So that is one job the other is a grocery store job in which things have been rocky. I cannot get done much of the work that they ask me to do, and I feel worried about that believing that I need to get done everything that they ask or they will be frustrated with me. That job I have backchatted within a lot and the consequences are now coming out. They are required to cut hours, and that is what has been done…For the week of Feb 16 I have no hours. If that continues for 4 weeks I get laid off. So I have been directing that point and When I opened up my email I had a job offer from a kijiji add I posted a while ago, so that was perfect timing. I have options here. I can transfer from the one store that I am at to another store where I will get more hours, or I can follow this new job. This new job sounded cool where they are a business that helps middle-class families help allocate their monies, and I suppose sell products that help with that, They do not push their products they only want to help… which is really cool. So that is an opportunity. But the point is that having the grocery store job I will have benefits after another 1 ½ of working there and all of my medicines will be covered 100% which will be very helpful as I am not using some of the tools available because of the expense of them. I am wanting to keep the grocery store job and am going to look into switching stores as my clothing store job is in a mall that has the same grocery store so that could work out pretty well.


That is one point that is going on, another point that is semi-related is my family. I asked my sister to put a word in for me at her store as she works at the same grocery store that is in the mall that my clothing store job is in…fuck it I am going to name names. Clothing store = Old Navy, Grocery store = Zehrs. So I asked her to do that for me and told her that I am going in to talk with a manager from that Zehrs the next time I work at Old Navy, she said that that was not a good idea because they are busy and that I should not pester them…looking at those words she is hiding something, or has a different reason, as they are nto really busy because it is the beginning of the year and all stores are pretty slow. Her reaction most likely is coming from my response to my dad. He sent me a facebook message saying that a smile takes a lot less energy and muscle, and this had been continuing on for sometime….him saying that I need to smile more and that this world isn’t as bad as I say it is, and that there is love and such other positivities, to which I replied that this is unacceptable and that I am not going to smile because you want me to, just to give him some satisfaction of trying to keep me away from the shit in this world, as all parents do. So this whole point has been revolving around my family. My mother is cool with who I am and does not impose too much shit onto me, but my father and sister are one and the same, trying to get me to smile and stop being so `negative`, to which I have been saying fuck off recently to. So I laughed when my sister told me not to pester them because she has been preaching unconditional love and family love for quite a long time to me, and that I should love my family because they are my family. She shows no unconditional love in her trying to keep me away from her…that is most likely the reason, she will not want me working around her, and most likely does not want to see me. This point has been around since I started to participate in and watch desteni videos. My mother over time `gave` in and noticed that this was helping me. My mother gave in because I have been around her since I started, so she has been able to notice a change and since I have been living this now I am able to explain it better to her and talk easier about it. My Father and Sister are still held down by their belief of what desteni is and dislike me participating in it, because of their belief of what it is. So there has been a conflict within my family but slowly they are starting to accept me for what I am doing and not trying to impose anything on me and allowing me to express myself. Slowly they are starting to stop pushing their views onto me.

My physical life is easy, and my mental side is difficult. I was watching a interview from a being (not sure which who) through the portal, and they said that everyone will have an easy mental life and difficult physical life or the other way around to have that polarity of things. So my mental is what I have been dealing with for some time now, trying to figure everything out by thinking, which I have realized does not work, and that only breath can assist me In seeing clearly. I have been trying to figure out my life through thinking, so I have not been looking at the situation clearly, I have not been using common sense to see where I currently am within my participation in this world/system/life. The mental is what I have been focusing on, and trying to get through, as my physical position is enough to support me as life. My life at the moment is ok, I have been working through stress and emotions and feelings to get to me, for me to support me, and working on equalizing myself to the physical as me.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Significance and work

Picking up from the last post which was this morning. I participated in desteni and watched the Money system update video, as well talked to Bella. The night before I posted a post on the forum and thought it was revelational. After thinking it was revelational I wanted to justify and validate this...I projected and imagined a situation where someone would talk or post a reply being really excited about the post, thus validating my bullshit...looking at it now I am glad no one did...Bella did not justify it/ I did not justify it in reading Bella's post. I am glad that no one did because I would have allowed myself to participate in that bullshit. I still have a point of wanting to be special or famous, and have been fearing it coming out, here it is and I am sharing it. I have wanted to be significant to gain power and to gain trust so that I can guide life, because I believe that my ideals are rightous. So self-rightousness and ideas are a point that I am going to take a look at. That post was an Idea, an Idea from an observation, An it was stemmed from an idea because I had the idea that all we need to do to move this world is to complain about the position it is in. Within that beclieving it to be significant - it wasn't. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire and want to be signidficant so that I may have power and be `looked up to` thus being able to control. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire control of this world. I forgive myself to not accepting and allowing myself to control myself - To move as Myself. I have feared allowing this point out because I fear being excluded from something that I have found that I have finally involved myself in, finally been able to participate in something with Honesty! = Desteni. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to attach myself to Desteni. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach/latch/leech myself to Desteni. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as desteni. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand alone using the desteni material to move myself effectively in my process. Ok After that I uploaded a video and had no reactions to that I did not care if people watched or rated or liked or gave a fuck lol, I went to work at 9 am and worked until 545pm.

During work I notcied that I always am attracted to looking at females...Attracted in the sense that I am not controlling myself I am energetically directed to females. so during work I was trying to focus on the work infront of me and remove myself from looking at females that I would be able to establish a relationship with. I did not catch every moment and applied SF on the attraction. During work I was not working my hardest, not moving myself within the stress that I usually would worrying whether or not I would lose my job. This was nice because I gave myself time to look the task that I was assigned over with a bit more clarity and I was able to not become stressed out over mistakes because I was giving myself time, now this was because I was not doing my normal job. I usually work shipment which is absolutely time based. We get a UPH (Units per Hour) to do. And we normally get in around 6000 units. So if the UPH is 150 and we get 6000 units in we have 40 hours split between the shipment team to complete it. And so you can see how it is completely time stressed. I will see how I handle this point now that hoidays are over and my regular schedule is back. In the past I would stress myself out because my manager is rushing us asking us to get shit done faster and faster and faster, and giving us time updates every half-hour or so. I become stressed out because I fear osingmy job if I do not comply with the requirements. So 1 I must not fear losing my job 2 I must not fear death. Losing my job and Death are completely related.
Another Interesting point during work is that I have been reading Tao Te Ching and after reading it I gather a state of mind of `peace`. Within this I still think the same thoughts being in clamer state. Within the state I was very unhappy and within that I did not give into looking at females I was more concentrated on the work although I still thought about how I would be perceived by females. So I ask myself why do I need anothers honest words to live by, why Am I not lving by my own word. Obvious within that because I am not living my words. During conversation I dive deep into my persoanlity, and supress my actual self. I say shit that I normally would not say and participate in shit thatI would not normally participate in. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking as myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to fear conflict of words. I do not need to participate in the conflict as soon as one `harsh` word is said I can walk away. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must continue to participate in conflict until it is resolved through moving deeper into the conflict. The conflict can and is easily solved by walking away from the harsh words and moving on.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Stress and Work

Stress within work


Watching sunettes video about stress a thought came up of “How can I do this during work”. This thought came up because Both of my jobs are time constrained and I must really rush myself in each moment to get things done…well that is how I have approached the problem. That is how I have become a solution. Each time I have worked before I created stress is that I would take it easy on myself and try and enjoy the time I have within breathing and moving and thinking within my comfort zone unfortunately. I would take my time and relax and enjoy but then I got written up for poor performance and I started to fear for my job fear for money so I started to rush myself to try and get the things that they ask me to get done. Both jobs this has happened where Time is being pushed and I am fearing for my survival more and more which is bullshit because death is much more pleasant then stress. So what has happened is that I have to rush now to try and get as much done as possible within the one job so that we make the `time` allotted to us. But what is extremely fucked up is that the store opens now a half hour earlier and it is Christmas time so we are getting more stock…we open boxes of clothes in the morning that are transported to the store, and are expected to get them all open and sorted in the time allotted, but they have given us more product to open and less time to open is and are still expecting us to get t done properly. And right now my survival is dependant on these jobs so I am obviously living this bullshit out that I have created. I have been wanting to experience what people have to go through so that I can and ezperience what they do. So I have now experienced the fear of surviving and what we do to push ourselves to force ourselves to make money to survive, Which is fucking crazy. So there is a lot of stress and I was thinking about how to apply myself within this and that is I must not care for 1 and just breathe and move for 2. I cannot judge myself based on how much I get done…I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself based on the belief of how well I work. I must realize and I will start to spply realizing myself within breath while working and write down any and all reactions to my job…believing that I can’t do it etc. Right now Even before I have tried I believe that I cannot do it because eof the personality that I move into and as as I participate in work. The grocery store job I must be absolutely effective in Directing myself in every moment to become effective in that job…that is how I can overcome and remove stress in that job. That will be interesting and I think I cannot have music with me to achieve that. Because my mind goes straight to the words within the song and I focus on that and not where I must direct myself in each moment. So that is how to do it I will apply myself tomorrow and remember to apply breath I each moment. I will start applying it within the walk to work and not stress about anything simply be here in the moment and direct myself accordingly. Ok so one thing that I have noticed that I have blamed it on is I inhale all this dirt and dust from the boxes and after a while my stomach hurts, but that could definitely be from the thoughts and the feelings f stress I put on myself because I have asked another and he said that he does not feel this. So it is me not the boxes. Anyhow after this feeling comes on I do not move myself as fast…I completely and utterly want to let go, want to stop working then and there. I feel physically ill and I do not want to continue with working with the feeling. So I will see what I am thinking whenI am working and write it down.