Responbile for all that exists

My perception of self-responsibility was that of only being responsible for my actions, but it is not. It is not only what I accept and allow within and as my actions, but it is a realization that coming to Earth I have accepted and allowed everything that is here. I accepted and allowed aging to exist, I accepted and allowed death to exist, I accepted and allowed the polarity of life and death to exist. I accepted and allowed the systematic construction of nature. I accepted and allowed

Through coming to this Earth I have inherently accepted everything that is here. I accepted the design of the trees, I accepted that the human must eat to survive, I accepted the electronics industry, I accepted that children will be bombed, I accepted that war is within the Human Nature I accepted the human nature in its entirety.

I have thought that I was susceptible to the physical, that it creates itself. That I am here and subject to the physical and its whims. I did not realize that I accepted and allowed and am thus responsible for all that is here within/as the physical. I got this belief from our accepted and allowed beliefs of what being a human is, thus our beliefs of what a human is is not in fact truth.

The point of taking responsibility for all things here is a massive point to deal with. Because I must then ask the question, is what is here best for all, is aging best for all, is the purpose of eating best for all, is the design of legs best for all, is the design of trees best for all, are animals best for all, is the design of the soil best for all. Looking at these points and realizing that I accepted it as what it is means that I am equally responsible through acceptance for what is here. Thus I am responsible for what is here. All beings on this Earth are responsible for this Earth through being here on this Earth, and the point that I did not look at before was the point of EVERYTHING. Eating, shitting, breathing, the eyes, the animals, the way animals live, the way humans live, capitalism, products, the polarity here, the timeloops and cycles here ,the weather, the nature, the ships, the cargo, the past, the present, everything that is here I am responsible through accepting MYSELF as here.

I believed that the physical, the design of the physical was set in stone, I thought that the physical would never be able to change its  ways, thus me as the physical, I believe that I am never to change my ways, I believed that who I am has been set in stone when in fact change is possible. Change is absolutely achievable, and if I am able to change who I am then the physical, nature, animals are able to change who they are. I am still limited by my participation within the mind, thus I am only able to change who I am within the mind…I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am limited to the mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the physical is not able to change, that the nature of the physical is not able to change and within that accept the belief that human nature is not able to change when in fact it is clear that it is able to change through the examples of Bernard Poolman, of Sunette Spies, of all that have changed their ways, of all that has shown change is absolutely possible. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am subject ot the physical, that  am here as a human only as a cell within the whole, subject to the workings of the whole, not able to change the whole.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that we must stand as the whole to make a substantial effort in changing the physical, that we as all as the whole must stand as one dedicating the same amount of effort to change this reality, as we have all dedicated the same amount of effort to accept reality as it is.

Through the belief that I am subject ot the physical I have abdicated self-responsibility for myself here within the physical. I believed that I am subject to the whole, not realizing that I am equally creating the whole as myself, and if I make a change within myself I can influence and infect the whole, so if I make a change for what is best for all I infect, influence the whole within what is best for all, then the whole is thus able to decide and realize what it is doing in fact as well, and decide to make that change for what is best for the whole/ALL as well.

I realize that as a cell within the whole I am only able to change myself but through changing myself I am able to infect, influence all others within the whole to get them to  change as well, thus not accepting what is here any longer and abdicate self-responsibility for being the creators of EVERYTHING that is here .

I am not subject to the physical, I am here as the physical able to change myself, first I must move through who I am within the mind to change myself as who I am as the physical.

I am a cell within the whole of the physical, I am able to change myself and influence others and stand with/as others to move the whole to change this reality into what is best for all.

Not being Here.

Here I am in breath. While I am not here I am thinking about some situation or possibility or what if or outcome or what to eat all in contexts of what is not here at the moment meaning It is not in my direct reality and I cannot physically participate with it.

I had an experience of not being here at work today and it is a vivid one, meaning I experience myself not here quite frequently with participating in thoughts of what ifs and speculation etc etc, yet this one was a bit more `interesting`.

I was working and at my job it is VERY systematic as is most jobs in this world, so once we get used to it we can basically go through our jobs blindfolded and deaf. I was low as well, meaning blood sugar low and when this happens I have noticed I participate much more in thoughts or negativity, and I cannot establish myself as effectively in the physical.

I pick cases at a warehouse on put them on skids, so I was moving from my machine to the slot and putting it on the skid and this entire movement I had no awareness of. Meaning I was not able to place it as myself I was not in the physical doing this action it was systematic it was automatic. I got back to my machine and was about to pick up another case and I saw that I had no memory of moving from the machine and picking up that last case and putting on the skid. I was not here in the physical at all I was not here I was completely not here I didn’t even remember the sights that I saw while doing that action which I am usually able to do, my senses were shut off to me, If someone asked me exactly what happened in that moment I could not tell them truth I could only relate to past experiences.  

Looking at this it is very dangerous to participate in reality like this yet we all do as we are all constantly thinking about what ifs, or speculating, or thinking about what they will do in the future = programming ourselves, or thinking about memories etc etc, Most of the time we are not here in the physical. Most of the time we humans are not aware of the physical, aware of our physical actions, aware of our physical breath, aware of our hearing or sight or anything that is PHYSICAL.

This is how FUCKED the mind is. It is not a benevolent placement of the human, it is devious as hell and separate from the physical though/as thinking thus we are not able to be here with the physical with our true selves, and since we are separate from our true selves, we believe that the mind is us, that thoughts are us, when in reality we are HERE in the physical in breath, in/as our senses. For an experiment go through your day and see how many things you have not heard the entire time = electrical noises, or birds, or cars, mostly ambient noises, and then realize that they were always making that sound, YOU were just not HEREing, so where were you? Then look at the thoughts and if they have any relevancy to Reality = what is here = what we can physically participate with in the moment HERE.

This is what desteni has shown me and many others, but in essence they showed me the opportunity and the fact that I had the ability to see, in essence I saw, desteni showed me the tools on how to allow myself to see. Desteni showed us that we are not here and to take our power back = our RESPONSEability = we must be here to respond correctly, or else we are only responding within/as a system = a pre-programmed automatic response. Our responsibility is our ability to respond through being here  and through taking our ability to respond back to us through being HERE we are taking our power back as ourselves = we are taking our power back from the systems that WE have ACCEPTED giving it up to.

This is what being a destonian is about. It is about taking our responseability of/as ourselves and responding with what is best for all so that we may bring about what is best for all. Being able to see what is best for all is a simple accumulation process of 1+1+1, looking at the consequence of each action that we participate in and what will be the side effects as well.

So no more speculation about what/how desteni is operating, it is out in the open it is for all to see, yet the irony is that you must allow yourself to see reality which through/as the mind you cannot as the mind is not in reality, it is in a sphere or a delusion self created reality, where as REALality is not SELF created it is created by ALL as self, it is a accumulation of all of us to make ONE reality. Stand up to see your true self, forgive yourself for all that we are holding onto as a collective community (the world) let it all go so that we may see what is here, let ourselves unconditionally go from the mind as we are the only ones who are enslaving ourselves.  Join Desteni, share and start investigating yourself at http://desteni.co.za – it is time to stop the mind so that we can get ourselves back to reality where we BREATHE, not think.

Remebering Breath

Mar 10th 10:21pm


Remembering breath

So hw do I remember that I am breathing. How do I realize myself breathing in each moment. So When I lose recognition of myself breathing I am thinking about what to do. I lose sight of the natural breath. I just lost sight there, and it I am not directive in that moment. I access my mind and look for something that will stimulate it. So no I do not create breath, I am not responsible for it, but I am responsible for myself within breathing, I create myself within breathing, through breathing. So in that moment I was accessing myself within the mind and looking for a stimulation point, and these stimulation points are what I distract myself from breathing within. Interesting that when I distract myself I am not aware of myself distracting myself. Only until I do not get any stimulation do I come out of the possession. When I cannot find what I am looking for I stop the search. Ok cool so searching is always outside of self, and I will constantly look outside of myself for stimulation until I do not find it. Why does the outside stimulate, where did I learn to stimulate myself through separation? Why does stimulation occur in separation. Why are we not stimulated by breath. Simply because it is all mind and mind was created in separation so it is kept itself alive within separation as separation allows it to continue, it deviloped a way to keep itself stimulated to keep it going. So I place myself within myself without stimulation and I become awake. I become much more awake that I have been in the previous moment. So obviously stimulation keeps the mind active and `awake`. So if All of this is through/as the mind where and how am I? I am here within/as the body within/as breath. I am here infinitely. A mind is only a distraction point, a point that I do not realize the traction I have here within the physical. It keeps me distracted from my self here. So I am the traction here within/as the physical. I am here within/as the physical. The mind is all an illusion. I use it and keep it going to delude me from being here as the physical. I dis-tract myself from the physical traction, which is the feeling, the touch t-ouch that I am. Breath is when I realize that I am feeling, that I am touching in every moment, and in every moment I am breathing, and only when I think, use my mind do I forget, dis-tract myself from here.

DUHHHHHH

Mar 10th 2011 2:57pm


At work again I `lost` myself not realizing myself being here. I `lost` myself within my mind and thinking. Simply this was a fault within me. I through the assistance of Marlen realized that I have been forcing breath on myself…forcing myself to breath, beleivng this to be a correct way of applying myself within breath…that is neat. The words within breath, I have took literally, to place myself within breath. I did not look at reality that I am always breathing, I do not need to place myself within breath, or be breath as I am already and always have been breathing. An expression of DUHHHH occurs within me when realizing this…it has always been infront of my face, but I did not see it.

So now I have a different applicaton and realization of breath, so I am going to apply this within work as I have not been able to move past this `forgetfulness` of breath within work as I have used the words…I have forgotten to breath….when really I forgot that I was breathing.

Thank you Marlen

Oh yet another Resposibility point through Sleep

Mar 7th 2:22pm 2011


Breathing helps quite extensively, I slept again and was about to judge myself harshly, but I breathed. I slept after work. I said that I would sleep for 15 minutes and move past the want to sleep more, I purposely put myself in that position to move past it, but again I did not get up, I set the alarm later. I got up at that time and I enjoyed the feeling of sleep, I enjoyed not being here. But it was certainly an energetic feeling. The feeling is one of relief. I want more of this feeling so I sleep more…like masturbation basically. I was heavily abusing myself when I was masturbating through masturbating, I wanted more of the `relief` that I felt when I climaxed, so I heavily masturbated. And now I am heavily sleeping and through this I am abusing myself as well, not waking up and taking responsibility for myself, anyhow, to understand this I must stand equal and one to this. So yes it is the feeling that I enjoy and want to create more of through sleeping. As well I cannot nap as I have abused my trust of myself. It is the energetic feeling that I must move through and get rid of. When I wake up I make excuses and justification to why I can and should sleep some more, and it is simply to sleep more and have that feeling of sleeping, but it is not sleep that feels it is me. So I am creating this lack of responsibility for myself through sleep, this belief that sleep is relief. I am believing that I am not responsible when sleeping, I am responsible for the fact of myself sleeping and if I am not taking responsibility for myself within sleeping then I must take responsibility for not taking responsibility…the consequences will show as they are…my time to vlog and blog is much less when I sleep. So my responsibilities are becoming compromised when I sleep to not take responsibility, as well my job is being affected as well as my livelihood, so now I understand what is happening through myself sleeping. My responsibilities are being compromised and I am compromising myself within not taking responsibility, and I am not taking responsibility through sleeping more than 4-6 hours and the fact that I am allowing myself to sleep more when I nap. So the false feeling of relief is a lie, meaning that I am not relieved from my responsibilities when I sleep I only put them off from my mind, and believe they do not exist when I sleep, but the reality is that they do exist and they will always exist even within sleep, so sleeping less is better for me in taking responsibility, and napping is going to go.

A practical solution when feeling tired is to not allow myself to nap, to get up and do something, to read, to do work, to write, watch tv. I noticed that watching tv helps as it is a stimulation for my mind…playing video games would help…anything that would stimulate my mind would help stop me from being tired, but I am going to investigate when I feel tired as what I have been allowing myself to participate in.

So they consequence today was not getting up in time to go to work…I am absolutely grateful for their understanding, I called in and asked if they still needed me to come in, they said no it was fine, and I am absolutely grateful for this, as I was expecting to get yelled at, but again this in unacceptable on my part because I did not take responsibility for this.

Not being Here within Work

This morning I found it incredibly hard to get up. I pushed the snooze button and was grateful for its existence. I was at the point of sleeping in more and then sleeping too much and then being late for work, so the snooze button was an excellent use in that moment. I got up after the alarm went off again and got up slowly. I made breakfast and knew that this day was going to be a difficult day for me because I was allowing myself to feel tired because of the physical movements that I had to do when I did not want to do them. I walked to work and within that I escaped the majority of the walk. I took myself out of the physical moment reality, and placed myself in a desired situation which was thinking about sleep and food when I were to get home. I got to work and was not wanting to be there in that moment, I was placing an idea of myself of wanting to sleep and to not want to be wherever I was within and as me. At work I was working incredibly slowly, very sluggish. Not try to do my work at all, simply accessing the system and program I was running within me and allowed it to run me, as I placed myself in a place that was not real within ideas and beliefs and ideal situations. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself to run a system and a program within me to not face myself in the moment here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become an idea of myself of the current moment.


I was allowing myself to participate in this feeling through the anticipation of the physical movements that I had to do within the day. I was placing myself within walking back to my house, and placing myself within walking to the library, and placing the idea of myself as being weak within and as that, so I became very depressed and unhappy to have to do all of that. I was not placing myself within the moment. I was very sluggish and not caring about my work, not giving myself the energy to move through work. I ended up sleeping for a short while when working, so that I could lol not be here. The lol is because when I opened my eyes I thought…”right I am still here”. I was dreaming and placing myself in a different reality, and when I awoke I was not thrilled in realizing reality. I realized that I was still at work and that I had to do work. So I got up and started to do my work. A bit more energized yet still not happy with the fact of being where I was and not being in a place of comfort and one where I can relax myself physically.

I noticed that I was doing this and texted my mom to see if she could pick me up…As well I have been desiring for the spring to arrive so that I can either bike or skateboard to work…biking is a lot quicker, and I would simply enjoy skateboarding to work as I get to do tricks along the way. She said that she could and within that one moment of knowing that I went out of my slump. I realized that I knew that I would be `supported` within not having to walk. I was happy that I was helped out so I did not have to walk home. And in that moment everything changed which is interesting. I did not have to rely on myself any longer…literally rely on myself to move myself. I could rely on another being. I simply wanted to lay back and allow the world to move around me when I was not being here. Unfortunately I was allowing myself to not be here and willingly accepting that fact, instead of questioning it and looking at it in common sense. This is a point of not wanting to support myself again. I could have taken the bus but I do not enjoy the money factor of taking the bus, it would cost be either $60 or $100 a month for bus fare…60 for a pass and 100 if I were to not have a pass and free if I walk. This greed has to go and I justify it with I can have an extra 60 to spend on food or save. Pubic transportation needs to be free! I can either complain or take responsibility for this point…somedays I am fine with walking and feel up to it other days I simply to not. So the common sense point would to be to take the bus on days that I do not feel up for walking.

Anyways the whole point within this is the fact that I did not place myself here and I allowed myself to fantasize about being elsewhere, and that there are options that are available yet I allow the Mind Consciousness System to influence me and my decision instead of looking at the fact within common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from being here thorugh thinking about somewhere I would `rather` be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from being here through placing myself as an idea of myself within a moment or situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an idea of how I need/should be within a specific situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live as that idea of needing to be/should be a certain specific expression within a specific situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fantasize about desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place myself within a system and/or program and run it within me so that I do not have to face this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse this world, this life, this existence through purposely not facing t.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to face myself here.

Within the Moment

Feb 12th 2011 5:54am


Time is how one can be within the moment. Each second be here each moment be here. Talking/typing here. When I write this I write from 5:54am. I am now at least. When I wrote before as these words are an example of how I write from memory, not from 5:55am. That is a cool perspective that I have not looked at before. In each moment of breath one equalized themselves with time. I write from now from here from/as breath. I do not look at the past and write I look at what is here within me and write. I see me. I cannot see myself entirely..but I am going on from knowledge and information of myself being sound, being a darkness. That is how I have extensively fucked with myself. Through knowledge and information. I think about my past knowledge and information, I place that knowledge and information into the current moment and live through/as the knowledge and information I have accessed. Sound is how I can tell whether or not I am here. If I can hear then I am here. If I cannot here then some corrections must be made…knowledge and information of being here = good. Simply, if I can’t hear then I am not here. I am somewhere else – thinking within my mind of something irrelevant because it is not here, I then become irrelevant, as I am not hear. I am not writing specifically from here, only within breath can I actually be here. The sound is key, when I hear sound I know I am not thinking. When I can hear all sound I can see in myself. I was hearing as I was looking within a want for a relationship, and it is only for sex, it is not a company thing nor a partnership thing only for sex. To be honest with myself in a relationship knowing and standing only for sex I am able to let all connections go. Because I am honest with myself. That is a positive Idea. So it is irrelevant. I am here typing with coffee, porridge, and toast to my left, These are the foods I and in the process of consuming. I was happy with myself for creating the porridge, a form of pride. I made porridge that has strawberries, blueberries, grapes, and a banana in it. I thought that this is a `good` meal so I created pride and happiness with myself for `creating` this meal. I read this over. It seems relevant, the idea of it is jibberish – meaning bullshit talk. I do not explain myself. I understand myself. That is all. I do not need to explain, should I explain myself. If I want to be understood possibly. But others understanding of me is irrelevant to who I am within the moment. I do not need to explain, if an explanation is wanted then I can give, but it is never a need. So for now this is only for me. I understand me as I write me. I am thinking of something to write. I am allowing ideas to pop up into my head through memory. I did not know what to write. I thought of something to write and second guessed myself. I thought it and did not immediately type it. I hesitated within thinking is this `good enough` towrite? Is it worth while to write that out. Will I bee seen as positivity if I write this? The whole Idea of positivity and wanting to be positive is something that I allow myself to fuck myself with. I think that positivity is wanted in any and every moment, and to `achieve` that is godlike. Trying to be godlike. I strive then for to be positive or seen as positive in every moment. As I have done this I have created the opposite side of this within my secret mind. Which I see and is completely disgusting. That which I think is completely ugly. I have tried to avoid it and place all the happiness up front so that I can be conscious of it, and then I suppress all of the ugliness within me. So writing and bringing that up is the best thing for one to do.

Breathing vs Thinking

When I think I am not here and I am my personality it its entirety. When I breathe I am much more stable at placing myself here, and letting everything go and being my body. Even now as I think I become more and more tired and as I am `waking up`, as I breathe I feel as if I have been up for hours. I can focus when I breathe, When I think I am only focused on one thing and that is within my mind being placed somewhere else. When I breathe I can analyze anything, When I think I am very limited to one expression I am limited to what I want to try to be. When I breathe I can look at any situation and express myself in the moment. When I think I am limited to expressing only what I think about, to only be what I believe or think the situation is, and my thinking is just a pre-programmed design of who I should be within this system.

So when I think I am extremely limited in who I am, When I think I am unlimited in my expression, I am here and not trying to be an idea/a thought/ a belief of my experience or the situation that I am involved in. When I think I am trying to match the situation with my thoughts. Right now I am watching a movie and it is `unraveling` and I am trying to understand it, when there is nothing to understand as it is right in front of my face, There is no need to understand anything, and when I am thinking I am trying to piece some puzzles together…but when I breathe the puzzle fits for me. When I breathe I let the movie just play out, I become humble and allow it to unfold for me, As I said it is right before my eyes, and all I need to do is breathe and I understand everything because there is not anything `more` to understand when watching a movie, As I think I am trying to create a definition onto trying to create words onto it, when I breathe as I am watching this movie The pictures and words define it for me there is nothing to think about when watching a movie, yet we all do. So it is pointless to think about anything, as what is is before your eyes. I like the saying when you look at a tree you do not need to say/think tree the tree says it’s a tree by being a tree. So really, is thinking useful? Does it make progress? In reality does thinking assist us in seeing, or does it only create a false interpretation of what we look at, When we think we are trying to see something that is not there. If we stop thinking we are able to see the reality of the situation. We are able to see it clearly rather than through the fog of words and definitions existent within out mind, trying to find the right words and definitions to `clearly` explain the situation but the situation is right at hand being shown clearly to us. So there was just a scene and It looked unfamiliar to me and I was wondering where the fuck is this…what is this. It is just what it is. There is nothing else to it…it is not beautiful it is not ugly, it just is. Thinking allows one to see it differently than what it really is. We all look through our minds eye at the moment and that eye is crowded with words definitions, knowledge, Information and we are sifting through all of that shit to find something to place on the idea experience that we go through at any moment, and then define ourselves according to information/knowledge of what we believe to be an adequate interpretation of the experience/situation.

Sleeping and Escape

Recently I have been sleeping more for the want to escape myself in this reality and taking responsibility for myself in this reality. It has gotten worse and worse, and I am taking on this point because it has reached a point where it is getting close to tipping and fucking up my life. I have been sleeping to escape the fact that I am here. I have been staying asleep because I do not want to face myself in this reality. All of these points are coming back…I was sleeping 4-6 hours no problem before, and was not neglecting it, only recently have I started to sleep more again, and the only reason I can see is to learn acting for myself and not for others. Recently when sleeping 4-6 hours it was to prove that I could and not that I am no longer doing this myself is coming into the equation, that now I actually have to sleep 4-6 hours for myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and prove myself to others as being who I want myself to be. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act from a mind possession, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do things for myself. And this is what is happening now. There are a lot of things to do in a day now for me with taking on this writing project and work, and other little things that come up and sleeping the way I am sleeping now is making it incredibly hard for me to manage my time effectively. If I were to sleep only 4-6 hours it would start to become much easier for me. When I become tired I try to find ways to stop being tired by eating or drinking coffee but none of that works, it is from within and I must change within first then the without changes. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that changing the outside will change myself inside, and yes it will to a certain point but this comes from within so it must be solved from within. When I am sleepy I do not want to move through what I am trying to do, so for example doing this right now if I were to become sleepy I would not want to move myself through the time that it takes to write myself out here. I would then think about how to escape this and I have used sleep to escape time before so I then become sleepy to help myself escape this time. It doesn’t work though because I have to move myself through this to get to being done I cannot sleep and somehow this magically becomes done, that is delusional and stupid, I have come to realize that all desires are completely revolving around stupidity and delusions. Sleeping comes from a want to escape, as well as many other mind manifestations. So when I was sleeping 4-6 hours I did not sleep to escape I slept to sleep, and I have started to compound sleeping to escape again and to not face myself and this has been compounding and now it is hard to get up in the morning for self, If I have to work then it is easy. Even things that I HAVE to do like, a few weeks ago I had to pay rent, and I was planning to get up early so that I could get what I needed to do done and then move myself to the bank and get my rent, even within this I became lazy and procrastinated, I wanted to stay in bed and not face this reality, I wanted to hold onto being unconscious, I wanted to hold onto not being aware. I wanted to hold onto being unconscious because then I do not need to accept or take anything into consideration….the free will shit still exists within me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief and application of free will. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to face the consequences of my actions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the consequences of my actions. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there are no consequences of my actions. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do what is best for me. Iforgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to escape reality by participating in my mind.


The escape point is relevant even when awake. When commuting or moving myself through time/space…I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to escape time and space by participating in thoughts/projections/ideas/beliefs….I do not want to face the fact that it is going to take time and space to get to point B. Within this I will start to think about ideas and beliefs, and start to participate in projections within/as ego to ignore the fact that I am here. This is who I have become ignorant of who I really am, and wanting to be something else. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore who I amreally am as life here equal to all live living here. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a belief of who I want to be and try to maintain that belief.

Escaping comes from wanting to not face time. Not wanting to face myself within time and space, comes from not wanting to take responsibility for myself here in this reality. Not wanting to take responsibility for this reality as my reality.

Escaping Is what I have to used to solve my wants of not wanting to take responsibility and not wanting to face time and space construct. This is what I have become and I am changing this. Breathing absolutely puts me here in every moment.