No More Killing Animals for Profit

No More Killing Animals for profit

In an Equal Money system there will be no more killing animals for profit. How it exists now, is that some African countries will host hunting expeditions for the ones who can afford it. They go to these countries to hunt elephants, tigers, antelope etc, all for the purpose of supporting ones ego in being able to say that I shot an antelope etc. These countries do this to help out with their GDP and tourism revenues, all within the game that is capitalism. In an EMS there will exist no profit as we know and have defined it today, profit will be the betterment of life here on Earth, life will Profit, so without profit there exists no need to hunt animals or kill animals for profit, so that one can gain a bit of money so that they can feel as though they have won in the game of/as capitalism.

Money has caused life to be abused...not money, but they way we use money, the way we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become in regards to money. Thus changing the way money is used will stop an extensive amount of abuse in the name of profit and survival. There will not need to be these massive meat industries in an EMS because of the entire profit point needed to survive, meaning that there will not need to be a constant increase on the amount of meat eaten by the human for meat industries to succeed, and they will definitely not exist as they are today as we are not giving the animals breed for slaughter a chance to in fact live, to be and express themselves one and equal to/with nature.

Dolphin slaughter will cease to exist as the point of imprisoning these creates so that we can train them to do tricks and entertain us for the sole point of profit will no longer exist, thus the point of gathering up the dolphins to be examined and sold off and slaughter the ones who are not chosen to be `show dolphins` will stop immediately. Our lives will be provided to us and we will stop destroying this earth in order to survive through/as making money/profit so that we can exist here on Earth. What we need as humans/as life, will be given to us unconditionally because we are life, because we need it to live ehre on Earth, and the entire point of/as needing money in order to purchase the things that we as life need to exist will stop as that supports tremendous abuse that we see today. Thus with our lives being supported we will no longer need to diminish life, we will have the ability and time to support life as well, we will have time to make life better instead of fighting for survival. If this sounds nice, investigate http://equalmoney.org

Equal Responsibility

Equal Responsibility
Today I found out that the friend whom I have abused in the past has been greatly affected by my actions. In this I realize that I am absolutely responsible for him. He has been going through extensive anger and hatred towards me for my actions. I am responsible for his life in the manor through being responsible for my actions I am responsible for the outcome of my actions which in fact are his actions.

I am responsible equally for him, as we all are for eachother = we are all equally responsible for eachother. I am responsible for him joining the army due to anger, I am responsible for his want for fighting, I am responsible for his tears, I am responsible for him letting out his anger, and I am responsible for the acts of his anger = if he were to fight someone due to his anger I am responsible for that fight.

The actions I have done in the past I have let go, but they are not gone, I am not done taking responsibility…I cannot take responsibility solely for him, I must take responsibility for realizing that I have created this equally in him as he is equally responsible for himself. In this I take responsibility for assisting him in letting it go as well, and my actions are not let go until he has as well let them go.

This exists for everyone in this world, we are all responsible for eachother until we all let our pasts go. I will not stop until he has let it go, and for that HE must let it go, I can only assist, in that I take responsibility for assisting him, as I have equally created him as well as himself through as my actions which has led to his actions.

I learnt today that the anger within him has caused him much harm, I am responsible for this harm, my abuse has carried on for years. I learnt that he has wanted to kill me, has thought about killing me, thought about causing harm to me, and this I am as well responsible for…everything that has been an effect from the abuse I am responsible for as I am responsible for my actions.

This is a very interesting topic!! I was hit by one of my parents when I was a kid, and the point of the abused become the abuser pops up as I am writing this. My mom’s dad greatly troubled her when she was a child too, there was physical harm and emotionally disturbing things done to her as a child and again the point of the abused become the abuser comes up again, so looking at this, my grandfather’s actions have stemmed all the way to me and past the blood line, and before that as well my grandfather must have been abused at some point as well, can’t say for sure but nonetheless our actions carry on far past ourselves and even our deaths.

This point is relevant within the money system, as we are all accepting this money system, and thus through/as the money system which spans the world, we are responsible for all that money is connected to through accepting the money system. Thus we are ALL equally responsible for poverty, for wealth, for greed, for corporations etc. Only when we make a stand as ourselves to better this system as ourselves through changing this system through changing ourselves do we actually make a change, and to change this world we all must change ourselves into something w can place all that live here on Earth within/as.

Media MANipulates Belief into supporting the reason behind the scenes.

Back in grade 12 of high school (5 years ago) my teacher was reading a report done by another student that had gone before me. She was sharing an example of how to write an essay. The person who wrote the essay was from a Eastern European Nation (if I remember correctly). He was writing on a war and him being from said Nation he could understand the language there, so in the media the headline read “Arms factory Destroyed” but that was not the case. There was a sign from the building on the ground in the picture and it read “Water Depot” or some sort, but the point is that it was a water treatment plant that is there for the benefit of the people of that Nation, and it clearly was not a weapons manufacturing plant.

This I found disgusting - at how the media could so blatantly mislead the public into supporting a war and supporting a belief system that what they are doing in that Nation is `justifiable` due to them `destroying` a `weapons manufacturing plant` when in reality they destroyed something that supports people = WATER!

Now the question arose that why would the media mislead people like that as they have the ability to use translators and could easily due so yet neglected to do so and allowed themselves to mislead the public with a belief that the order was to destroy a weapons facility, when in actuality was a water treatment plant.

The media purposely allowed the view to be waned toward the side of `the war is justified due to the destruction of a weapons facility` and thus allowed the war to be continued.

This is again currently going on in all wars today, where many war crimes are going unreported although they are in abundance = schools are being bombed, hostipals are being bombed and again water supplies are beign bombed which are war crimes and yet the media says nothing about it = they continually justify the war due to the powers that be that are controlling the outflow of media and information to the public.

This is an atrocity. As human beings we have a right to know what is going on and what `our` country is doing in war, and have a right to stop wars if we do not agree. I am sure that if these war crimes were reported on the news many people from North America would be outraged at what is going on in `our names`. Unfortunately it will never be reported because it is not good for business.

War is a racket is a common saying and it is all for business = it is all for profit of the warring nation, and when the current system supports profit many people will do anything that it takes to gain that profit/power including crimes against humanity.

The problem is inherent within the system. This system supports profit and it the information being let out is easily manipulated thus misinforming the public on what is actually happening in reality. Therefore we need a new system as this system has become corrupted with greed, abuse, murder, inhumane actions towards all life.

This is what we see and realize at Desteni, and that is why we support an Equal Money System, as with any change to the current system the same dysfunctions that are inherent in this current system will still be rampant, and it is all due to the possibilities of it existing in the current system. That is why an EMS is an actual solution as it takes into consideration the possibilities and consequences of the systems structure and it does not allow for abuse in any form, it does not allow for suffering to become rampant, it does not allow for greed to take place. This is why it IS the solution. I suggest to inform yourself about an EMS rather than being misinformed.

http://equalmoney.org   http://desteni.co.za 

Fear = Violence and Destruction

Fear
I was driving a car past a couple who were walking their dogs, there were cars parked on the side of the street so making me drive closer to the couple with their dogs than I `normally` would. I felt a point of projection onto the man who was holding the leashes for the dogs, it was a point of fear, and I was projecting myself onto him with fear of me driving too close to him and the dogs being hit by the car. I saw him then pull hard on the leash with fear to try and keep the dogs by his side. It looked very discomforting to the dogs for the leash to be pulled like that.

His fear led to violence...I am equally responsible for his fear because I was thinking the exact same thing as he was, and thus I accepted the fear just as he did instead of me realizing that I am in control of the car and I have self-directive power of/as the car and thus I can decide where to direct the car.

I have seen many examples of fear leading to violence and death. There was a wasp in a van with me and my father, he being allergic to bees caused a fear within him. As well I was reacting with splurges of fear when it would come close to my hand. I was attempting to direct it out of the window with my hand and when it would come close to my hand I reacted with fear as well, although there was no physical reaction from me in this instance. The wasp was not moving out of the window and the fear became too great for my father which he then smacked the wasp with paper and knocked it out. I thought it was dead and gone thus I stomped on it with my foot to make sure it was dead so that it would not suffer from being concussed or injured due to the impact from being hit. In this instance again fear took over the being and he reacted with violence to his fear of being stung.

When people fear all they see is the fear, they cannot see the actuality of whatever it is they fear, they can ONLY see the fear that they are making up from the image that they are seeing, and people generally dislike fear so they want to get rid of it within themselves, not seeing that it is them themselves that are fearing, they are placing the cause of the fear onto the image that they are connecting fear with and thus they want to get rid of the image that they are fearing = in this case the wasp, in the previous case the dog being hit by the car, wherein the man violently tugged on the leash to remove the image of fear happening in reality.

It is never the image that is fear itself, it is us that is fear itself. We are the fear and the acceptance of the fear, and from us not wanting to face our fears we always turn to destruction and violence towards whatever it is that we are projecting fear onto.

A friend of mine has a fear of wasps due to being stung heavily when he was a child. He would usually run from wasps out of fear, and if they followed he would swat them and stomp on them if possible = do everything in his power to kill the wasp and remove the fear from him = it is an IMAGE wherein if he were not to see the image of the wasp there would be no fear. Anyways at one point I suppose he realized that he could kill them and that he did not need to run away as much. One day he went on a killing spree of wasps and was continuously repeating “I am facing my fear” when in actuality one is only acting on their fear when they try and destroy something. To face ones fear is to not allow the fear to inhabit yourself, it is to realize that the fear is not real, it would be to realize that the wasp may or may not sting, and that it is simply living its life. To face the fear is to REMOVE the fear from yourself and not become and act on the fear = that is REALly facing ones fear.

So when a being acts on fear it leads to violence and destruction, and I am sure that that is why the human has been destroying the Earth so immensely = fear of life, whereas in the early years of the human we have had to seclude ourselves from nature due to the harm that it may cause to us = fear. So now unconsciously we are still involving ourselves within fear to life, fear to what the Earth may bring for us in terms of harm, and that is why Unconsciously we are destroying the Earth in every way.

Fear for me in terms of wasps and harm to myself is slowly being removed as I am the creator of my own harm = there was a wasp following a red package that I had in my hand, and me not wanting to deal with it was moving the package away from the wasp to where it stayed in the same proximity to the package as I was moving it = bees see differently and they thus move according to how they see = that is why it was staying in the same proximity to the package even though I was moving it away from it. Now if I were to react in fear in that moment I would panic with the thoughts of `shit this isn’t working how do I get this to stop?` then would most likely result to killing the wasp. But in that moment of it following the package I remembered how wasps or bees see and I knew then why it was doing it = it wasn’t unknown to me = fear of the unknown. I stopped moving the package and it went away maybe after 2 seconds and I went on my way as did it, so I did not access fear within me although it came up momentarily and thus I did not need to resort to violence or destruction of life, and thus if I reacted in fear the wasps would sense it and react in fear within itself due to my fear and protect itself in the way/capability that it has = its stinger and most likely attempt to sting me = I am the creator of my own harm due to fear.

In the Desteni I process, in the third or forth lesson we deal with fears and learn how to effectively FACE the fears, and within this we stop the HARM and ABUSE that we have created to this world as ourselves, visit http://desteniiprocess.com for more information.  

Equality
Looking at the point of equality, why is it so controversial? And why is it hated upon?

Taking a look at what the physical reality is showing us, we all come from the Earth.  We are all made from the Earth’s dust…everything that is here is from the Earth’s dust = we are all equal in that aspect. None of us or thing is more than another or less than another  everything is made from the same source, comes from the same source. The physical is showing us that in every moment, it is only the human that is not taking it into consideration, it is only the human within the mind that has deluded itself from becoming aware of this fact and living this entirely.

This is nothing that is new, this is always been and will always be because when equality exists stability is infinite = equality is infinite. So why is it controversial?

From what I can tell it is only controversial due to fear, it is only fear that has been a limiter and a closed mind limits as well, where one is not able to see the facts of life as themselves due to a closed perception and a pre-programmed perception. The fear that inhabits the human is extensive, fear of changing fear of anything new, and when that is activated the nature of the human becomes destructive, because when fear is activated one reacts with violence and abuse to the world.

So what has happened when the haters go into fear…The desteniproductions channel gets terminated. What they are saying when this is done…well I cannot claim that it is the haters specifically it could have been google itself, yet whomever was involved is stating that I want to continue on living in this world of abuse, of destruction, of human indecency, of starvation, of child prostitution, of drug running, of crime wars, of innocents dying, of wars that exist till no end. That is the statement beign made as desteni’s channel is suspended, as desteni stands for a better world, for living in equality, giving to all unconditionally and equally so that one is able to provide for ones-self the means for life in the physical.

Why is it hated? I am not sure, back when I spoke like these people = the haters – I was playing video games heavily, constantly warring with myself and others to win to be on top yelling and screaming “Get raped, Get owned” = Vile comments as such. I was very immature and only when I saw a video of me playing and acting this way did I stop as I did not want to continue on that path. This is what many people speak of about desteni = vile, rude, vulgar comments about sexuality, and murder and abuse. I can only come to the conclusion that these people too have yet to see how they are acting and what they are actually stating when they `fight` desteni.

From my perspective it will take them time to see how they are acting as it took a video camera for me to see me even though I was completely aware of what I was doing, I just couldn’t `see` `outside` of myself and see the whole of myself. I was wrapped up in the possession that I was participating in, only when I saw it through the video camera was I able to see how disgusting I actually was.

Even if it was not the haters their words still stand and this is still relevant.

Standing on Morality is doomed to fall

Apr 5th 2011


I was looking at morality today. The point came up within thinking about smoking and continuing or not. I have chosen to quit before out of morality believing myself to be good for doing it, or being positive for doing it and negative for starting again if I did, so when I started again I went into judgement and depression. I was looking at this point and I noticed that morality changes quite often, if I did it to be good then for only so long I would want to be good, we all have these wants to be bad or go against beliefs and rules, and I set that rule for myself of not smoking. Again since morality changes quite often and moods change quite often using that point as a starting point of stopping anything, using moreality, to stop anything is useless and ineffective as I have found. I was looking at the reason for stopping smoking to stop supporting cigarette companies who use their money to abuse, deceive, manipulate etc. If one uses a point within reality that will not change then one can use that point to stand on as it does not waver. Meaning that I can use the fact that cigarette companies abuse to stop smoking, I can use that point to stop smoking because it is stable and is unwavering as it is set in reality. And if they were to suddenly stop abusing then and only then would that point waver and then one could then choose to smoke or not because the point ended. If I were to use that point to stop smoking standing would be easier as it does not waver, and since I have used morality to stope smoking before, I wavered and fell. So that is an interesting point and I am using that point when I am done smoking this pouch.

Strict on Myself - Not the Solution

Right now My starting point for the day is to be effective. Making sure that I stick to my principles and doing everything `right`. Within this I am being very strict on myself. I am not Allowing myself to be. I am holding myself tightly, watching for any `Slip up` of abuse. negativity is not the only abuse, it is also positivity. So I am holding myself tightly only watching for perceived negativity, allowing the positivity, as well not allowing myself to live here. Within this I have been placing myself in my mind holding myself there and watching - being on guard - for any negative thoughts - Thus allowing thoughts, because if I have to watch for thoughts I am thus allowing thoughts, and if there is a reasons for me to be on guard, I am creating that reason.
I let this Go now.

Oh yet another Resposibility point through Sleep

Mar 7th 2:22pm 2011


Breathing helps quite extensively, I slept again and was about to judge myself harshly, but I breathed. I slept after work. I said that I would sleep for 15 minutes and move past the want to sleep more, I purposely put myself in that position to move past it, but again I did not get up, I set the alarm later. I got up at that time and I enjoyed the feeling of sleep, I enjoyed not being here. But it was certainly an energetic feeling. The feeling is one of relief. I want more of this feeling so I sleep more…like masturbation basically. I was heavily abusing myself when I was masturbating through masturbating, I wanted more of the `relief` that I felt when I climaxed, so I heavily masturbated. And now I am heavily sleeping and through this I am abusing myself as well, not waking up and taking responsibility for myself, anyhow, to understand this I must stand equal and one to this. So yes it is the feeling that I enjoy and want to create more of through sleeping. As well I cannot nap as I have abused my trust of myself. It is the energetic feeling that I must move through and get rid of. When I wake up I make excuses and justification to why I can and should sleep some more, and it is simply to sleep more and have that feeling of sleeping, but it is not sleep that feels it is me. So I am creating this lack of responsibility for myself through sleep, this belief that sleep is relief. I am believing that I am not responsible when sleeping, I am responsible for the fact of myself sleeping and if I am not taking responsibility for myself within sleeping then I must take responsibility for not taking responsibility…the consequences will show as they are…my time to vlog and blog is much less when I sleep. So my responsibilities are becoming compromised when I sleep to not take responsibility, as well my job is being affected as well as my livelihood, so now I understand what is happening through myself sleeping. My responsibilities are being compromised and I am compromising myself within not taking responsibility, and I am not taking responsibility through sleeping more than 4-6 hours and the fact that I am allowing myself to sleep more when I nap. So the false feeling of relief is a lie, meaning that I am not relieved from my responsibilities when I sleep I only put them off from my mind, and believe they do not exist when I sleep, but the reality is that they do exist and they will always exist even within sleep, so sleeping less is better for me in taking responsibility, and napping is going to go.

A practical solution when feeling tired is to not allow myself to nap, to get up and do something, to read, to do work, to write, watch tv. I noticed that watching tv helps as it is a stimulation for my mind…playing video games would help…anything that would stimulate my mind would help stop me from being tired, but I am going to investigate when I feel tired as what I have been allowing myself to participate in.

So they consequence today was not getting up in time to go to work…I am absolutely grateful for their understanding, I called in and asked if they still needed me to come in, they said no it was fine, and I am absolutely grateful for this, as I was expecting to get yelled at, but again this in unacceptable on my part because I did not take responsibility for this.

Giving the Finger to life and The Consequences

Mar 2nd 2011 2:35pm


I just got done watching the video Get real, stay Real, Be Physical and I would like to share my experience of that which Sunette is talking about in regards to willingly giving up and participating in dishonesty `giving the finger to life`. A year ago I went into a relationship knowingly participating in dishonesty as love as happiness as reliance, I was completely separate from myself. I knkew that I was participating in this yet I continued. I willingly gave up on myself, and allowed to fuck with myself immensely through believing in love and believing in all that shit. I purposely did this to achieve a large desire of mine, which was to fall in love, so I did and I created it and the outcome was horrific. I was blaming this before on the fact of the relationship, not taking responsibility for my actions within the relationship. So I gave up my process, said fuck it to life, and willingly went into that relationship to give into my desire and the consequences were dire. I went into this knowingly, so I ignored life, I ignored myself, I purposely forgot myself, and purposely allowed all of that shit to come into me = love, happiness, reliance, deception, abuse within as emotions, desire for sex, anger and blame etc. The consequence of this was a break up and emotional turmoil. And the consequence that was equal and one with my decision was the fact of me forgetting everything, me having to re-learn process from the beginning. Me having to restart absolutely everything over and re-live much of the moments that I went through previously. I forgot what self-honesty was, I had to re-learn to apply self-forgiveness, I was not applying self-forgiveness during the relationship and if I did it was a dishonest starting point where it was out of blame, or wanting to feel good about myself, I only forgave the negative within me, not realizing that this was absolutely dishonest, this was to again fulfill my desire of absolute bliss and love and utter happiness and an ever lasting happiness and positivity, disgracing life, disgracing myself through doing this as I used a tool which is helpful to support life, to say fuck it to life, and now I see the absolute evil of myself, and support my desire of an ever lasting positivity which is dishonest and only out of self interest.

So again the consequences of these actions is now an addiction to sex, I have to relearn everything over, I have held onto points within that relationship, I have lost trust of myself, and have only extensively limited and affected myself within process and have to move all of the shit that I accumulated during that year. It is at least going to take a year to move through, most likely more. I only extended my process and made it `harder` for myself. Harder than what it already was which was extensive because I was participating in that voice then, and believing that I was talking to the dead or `inanimate` objects. I keep on reading information and realizing that I already knew that and I keep on questioning…what the fuck happened to me s I went through that relationship…the truth is nothing happened to me, I made it myself, I did it to myself and now I am living the consequences. I realize points that I have `realized` way before, before I went into the relationship, and I keep on forgetting a lot of shit that I used to remember, hence the equal consequence of my action, in which I purposely ignored self-honesty to participate in desire, and thus I have now forgotten much of what was assisting me in process, and have to re-learn everything over. Simply I fucked myself through wanting to fuck.

Money `Woes`

Feb 28th 2011 4:12am


I woke up this morning at my moms house made a cup of coffee and thought I do not want to use all of these beans because of the money, because of their monetary value. Not because there would be no beans left…there is another type of coffee aswell but because of the money involved. I thought that I did not want to use as much beans as I normally would because it is not my money. As well I am driving to work today in her car, and the thought that has occurred before is I hope I do not get into an accident not for my health but because of the money that I would pay. Fucked up. Shows that I am placing still more value on money than life. Shows that money has become more valuable than life as it currently provides life. If I were to get into a car accident living would be much harder then dying. My mom doesn’t work right now and is in the process of going back so everything would come out of my pocket. And that would lead me to use a good chunk of my money towards that. In which my living application would then diminish and I would have to be incredibly frugal with my money. Anyways that is hypothetical.

It is unfortunate where we place money over life. Money over health. Money over the fact of our existence. Now this has gone into excessiveness where people now degrade life, butcher life, maim life, annihilate life, all in the name of money. We have started to deceive others, deceive ourselves all for the name of money, all for energy. These are more than fucked up things that we have done. We have disregarded life for the fact of value within the form of money. We have disregarded ourselves for the fa(c)t of money and greed. This world is dangerous if one does not control their reality, and if one does not have money! Now all of the people who do not have money, their problems are exponential to my thought. They must worry about getting sick, about food, about shelter, and staying warm, it is more than fucked up what we have created.

On the news there was a `story` of police handing out blankets to homeless because it was cold outside. This should be done aside from the fact of it being cold. It should be provided no matter what to people who do not have money, it was obviously doable within that moment so it could have been done in many moments and should have been aside from there being a catalyst of it being cold outside.

I am equally responsible for all of this through the `simple` at of thinking about money over health. This had gone on for far too long and it NEEDS to be stopped. Support an Equal money system for a better life for all living beings.

BackChatting

After watching that video I had a large reaction to this within/as fear. I knew to a point that backchatting had consequences but now I understand a bit more, with the words knives, swords, stones, sticks, at how affective that it can be. I have backchatted immensely through out my life, and now fear fucking with myself. Recently I have backchatted quite a bit in regards to meeting Sally, I was not honest with myself within my starting point, the starting point was seeing it as a friend, date, etc, not person to person meeting and sharing and exploring eachothers process within desteni. That is what I put it off as, yet had ulterior motives, motive that lay under the surface…I am judging myself immensely for this point, because of the abuse that I have done. What happened within the backchatting is….ok so some of it was not backchatting, it was not `negative` or to attack…although I felt some at points of spite. Ok so most thoughts were not backchatting in the relation to judgement or negativity or attack. Some were though…What happened was that I would believe that anyone ends up judging me for the way that I am acting…but it is only my judgment of myself for not being self-directive and creating an ulterior motive, and then I think a knife, and throw it at them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to through knives/thoughts, at others for my own self-judgment, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack others through/as my own inferiority, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself ot remove myself from the situated, tied down construct of inferiority. This is what I amwithin this, tied down to my own position of inferiority trying to attack others and blame others for tying myself down. I see them as more than me and try to `cut` them down to where I reside, I forgive myself for accepting and allowin myself to resent myself as where I have placed myself. Ok so yes it id definitely out of inferiority, what just happened is that my friends whom I skateboard with are goig to a skatepark and my one friend is going and I am not, believing that I need to be invited to go, and within that I thought about typing that they are dicks, because I feel less than them as I believe that I should be invited but it is only up to me to decide whether or not to go, it is up to me to direct the situation not others to push me, as I would have said that I would not want to go as I see this as much more important. So yes it stems from me believing myself to be inferior to others, but I limit MYSELF, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others for my own inferiority. There are many inferiority points within me…it is a made belief that I think that they are superior to me..so it is a blatent belief of superior judgement. As well it is comparison….1 they are better than me = cooler, more intelligent, insightful, progressive, attractive, and 2 I see myself as less than and try to cut them down to my size by throwing energetical thoughts with intent to hurt. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to intend to hurt another with my thoughts! I really do not want to hurt someone, have been playing with it and it is possible to stoponly when I realize that I hurt someone. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my thoughts have no consequences, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I can hurt someone, with my energetic possessions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt others with my thoughts.


BackChatting comes from my inferiority construct, when I feel inferior or intruded upon, what happened just now is that my roommate walked in on me while I was making a sandwich…I was judging myself for making that sandwich because I just ate, and ate more..so I wanted to be left alone and not exposed, and then he came in and I wanted him out so I backchatted in my head towards him, attacking the weakest point that I see. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide my own judgments of myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take out my own judgments on other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear exposing my own judgments. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack other people if I think they will know what I am judging myself for. What I noticed is that I do not care, was not aware that I was hurting another being…I did not see consequences…I cannot see my thoughts , so I have assumed that there are no consequences but I can feel them. What I noticed is that I WAS hurting people and myself, and I came to this realization and I do not want to hurt others or myself, So I tested it out a few times and I noticed that it has become habit for me to defend myself, to attack another being, but It is my own problem…it is my inferiority that I am trying to defend yet I am actually protecting it, within attacking another with thought, I end up keeping myself in the inferiority position. As well I judge them within thinking or believing something that is a lie, like for instance religion, I have started to judge others for believing in religion, and within my mind call them ridiculous or crazy or pathetic, etc. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self-righteous through believing my knowledge to be absolutely true, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value my knowledge over people as life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value knowledge over life. Life is a lot more valuable than something that is questionable in every moment. Life feels pain, knowledge is bullshit, I know nothing, I do not KNOW whether or not god exists, All I know is that religion has brought us all into deceit, into deceiving others and trying to make money, that Is what religion is, another money based system, so it is not their faults for believing in it, they as me have wanted to find absolution outside of myself/ourselves. So again that point is not worth it, not worth hurting life, for my righteousness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be right, through/by applying self-righteousness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I know everything. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am always right. As I was testing out this BackChatter I have a tightness In my throat – for the words that I think. They have a resonance and a consequence. I do this just to judge people like I am some all mighty motherfucker, who can decide to judge. Whomever I feel. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to judge whomever. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another because I feel inferior to them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior. Inferiority is bullshit, it does not exist as many of the things that I feel inferior for do not exist in reality, it is all valued thoughts that I have allowed myself to give value to. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to thoughts or ideas. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value grammar, words, clothing, appearance, money, possessions, neatness, intelligence, sophistication. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to have an idea of what is valuable within appearance, grammar, accents, clothing, hygiene, intelligence, sophistication, money, possessions, neatness, fatness, sexuality, coolness. What I realized as well is that I fear them judging me as I have judged myself yet I do not care if they judge me, when I do not care to attack them, I do not judge myself, and I realized that within me not fearing being judged I do not attack them and that I am willing to `love` them anyhow, I do not fear them, so I can still support them no matter how much they will judge as Ido not judge myself, It all comes from judging myself first and foremost. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within morality. I judge on stupidity…judging myself for being stupid, judging myself for not knowing, for fearing for not being smart enough. Anything that this world has systematically disapproved of I have feared and judged myself for being. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become of this world. I do not accept myself as this world any longer. Breathing is who I am. I am breath. I am not a personality designed so that I can get what I have seen as a positive polarity.