Changing Reality

"Combing the mirror. We are trying to change out there, which is nothing more than a mirror in here of our sense of reality... If we want to comb our hair, we don't comb the mirror, we comb our hair and the mirror than reflects that, when we change this, the mirror out there reflects this, and the world changes. It's just a mirror, a mirror reality.
We are the power in everyone. We are the dance of the moon and the sun. We are the hope that will never hide. We are the turning of the tide." 

David Icke

This is a quote from David Icke describing that this world is a reflection of us, if we change than the world changes. What is in fact true within this is that our realities are a mirror of us, meaning that we shape and create our own reality according to who we are and have become. Thus `if we change ourselves then we can change the world`, this is not true as we will only be able to change our world, we will only be able to change the way we live, not the way humanity lives. In order to change the way humanity lives we, as all as humanity, must decide a `goal` or a principle to stand within/as so that all of/as humanity are standing and supporting the exact same point. What we are doing now is standing each on a separate individual page in a book of life = we are all standing on our own page wanting and only considering ourselves instead of standing in/as the book supporting the book. Thus if we change ourselves we are only able to change the page as that is currently how we are existing and without the agreement of all the pages/humans, we will not be able to change the book, we will not be able to stand and support what is best for all life.

The reason why this will not have an effect on life is because of the fact that this supports the entire self-interest system that has been existing within/as humans for millennia. If I were to take this into me and apply it, I would then attempt to change my reality for the better of me, which would mean more money, a larger house, more property etc, which does not support anything other than again my self-interests, and does not change the world entirely. This world would be stuck in the same shit that it is stuck in now even if I were to change myself, the key is to support humans in making the choice to stand as all in this world and create a world where we would be pleases with switching shoes with anyone else in this world. The key is to assist humans is stopping the separate paged existence and see the we are a page within an entire fucking book, and realize that we are this book as well, and that this book/Earth/Life is being destroyed because we are only looking out for one page and not in the interest of what is best for the book/life. This does not assist all humans in realizing that we are in fact one and equal within this reality, it is in support of changing self for the `betterment` of self and not for/as the entirety of life equal and one.

Then there are the statements “We are the power in everyone. We are the dance of the moon and the sun. We are the hope that will never hide. We are the turning of the tide. “ These are statements that simply have no support of the physical reality, they are only pretty words that fuck your ears. They have no practical purpose of being said there is no statements or practical direction within/as the words being said thus they become and are irrelevant and only exist as pretty words to fuck ears. Thus they have no practical application to them and are thus ineffective at doing anything except fucking ears.

The point in changing reality is to allow humans to make the choice that is best for all, to show humans what/how we have been living and remove the blinders on ourselves that this world is `nice, pretty, magnificent` and not wake up and see that hell that is taking place daily on this Earth. It is to realize how this reality is functioning and decide to stand as life for all of life and do what is best for life as life is us, as we do not `live` eternally through/as our individuality, we live eternally through/as standing as life, living as life making decisions based on life, not individual wants. It is to realize that all that is here is equal and one to/as ourselves and to stand as ourselves as all equal and one and direct ourselves from that point eternally, constantly moving/living as all that is here as self. This is what I have learnt through participating with desteni for years, I have seen that desteni principles consider all that is here and what is best for all and how to practically and effectively make a change that supports ALL LIFE on this Earth. Thus if you truly do care about this Earth about the existence of this reality in its current state, stand with/as us for/as all life, join desteni.      http://desteni.org

Fear of Not Making Process

Fear of not making it

I have come to a realization within myself that I have been fearing making process and within that I am not taking the stance to stand eternally for all life. Lol Within this the fear is stopping me from actually making it, as taking a stance to stand for all life is actually `making it` as life is not involved in thoughts, it is here thus  must be equal to life in order to be able to assist it and support it.

Anyways I have been noticing a trend at times that I do not care whether or not I become abuseful = smoking or masturbation or even simply thinking about desires, acting on greed, = being of `human nature`. I –at times- wimply!!!! That was a type – simply do not care about making the important decision to do what is best for all life and within that I give into thoughts, desires, dis-honest actions, abuse towards myself and consequently others.

The opportunity poops up and I give it consideration out of a fear of not making it = if I am not going to make it then why even try to my fullest extent? Is what I live in that moment and within that I give into my own self-interests of experiencing and self-interested delusions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not making process and within that holding onto the fear allowing it to influence me in my decisions of whether it is `worth` it to stand up for life and within that manifesting my own `failure` within/as process
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect process to fear and within that fear my own fear
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the fear of not making process and allow myself to limit myself from actually standing as change eternally as what is best for life, making myself equal to/as life
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist and hold back on making a definite change withinas myself and my living conditions/standards because of the possibility of `not making process`
 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I make process that I am the decider of whether or not I will make process.

Within the fear of not making it I am limiting myself to practical action to do what is best for all. I am allowing myself to accept this fear as reality. Within accepting the fear as reality I am sitting on the fence, I am not making that absolute stand as what is best for all life as myself living it in each moment breath by breath.

This is not cool as it is LIMITING. I am not allowing myself to move past my systematic patterns which I have defined as myself due to fear of not making it and fear of changing. This fear is absolutely holding me back from me living as an expression of life instead of a Mind Consciousness System. I question myself – Do I want to be life…I do not know as I do not know what life is…so do I want to be a MCS? No as I see what I have been participating in and have been limiting myself within and I dislike living out the same pattern day after day after day after day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live out the same patterns of/as my/the Mind consciousness system day after day after day because I am accepting this fear of not making it as real and am allowing the fear of not making it hold me back from removing myself from participating in the systems in which I have come to accept and allow myself to live as
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear becoming life = breathing here in every moment when in fact I have no idea what that brings/would be like

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear something that I have no idea what it actually is
 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to find out what living life here in every moment is though applying myself as breath here in every moment doing what is best for all life here in every moment as myself as life as breath
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live the fear of not making process as a reality
 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the fear of not making process is not a reality as I have no idea what it actually is thus I am creating an idea about what it is and thus the idea of what it is is not real because I have not lived being here in every breath as life as myself as an expression of life
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear changing through fear of losing who I have come to define myself as
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must then re-define myself when I remove myself
 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within defining myself as ego/as what I believe myself to be when in fact it is not real, it is not me

I realize that I have not lived life in fact and thus have no idea what it is thus the fear of living life in fact as breathing here in every moment is irrelevant to what breathing here as life in every moment actually is
 

I stop the fear of not making it as it is not real
 

I stand here as who I currently am within the mind and remove my addictions/beliefs/ideas/separations etc from existing into/as my reality

 
I stand within an utmost effort to stop myself as who I have become within the mind
 
I stop all ideas about what living here as life as breath in every moment is

Pushing Past Fears

An interesting point occurred a few days ago and that was myself pushing out a fear within me. I was fearing asking of suggesting a consideration of an agreement with me. The thought came up and before when this thought came up I ignored it and suppressed it with/as the fear but that day it was interesting! I felt that fear and saw the thought but this time I oculd not ignore it each time I recognized the thought I pushed it up within me further and further. It was very cool, it felt as I was going to vomit the fear through expressing it within words. There was still fear but I was not giving into it, through the Self forgiveness and self corrective statements that I was doing within the DesteniIprocess ( http://desteniiprocess.com ) I was able to see the ridiculousness of the fear. Doing the SF and SC didn’t mean that it would magically disappear, it meant that I am able to see the points in which I am accepting that are delusional and to remove those points to move past the delusion so I can see what is real! So I say the delusion in fearing her reaction and fearing myself not being able to handle the situation and I pushed that point out of me. I said fuck a few times before I spit it out because I knew that it was coming out and I was not going to ignore it and suppress it. I was in that time trying to find an `acceptable` way to approach the subject but again it was coming up and I said fuck it and spit it out in the way that I did. There was no `acceptable` way to approach it so I simply said what I needed to say. It was a `no go` and that is fine, there was no reaction towards it I simply stayed the same. There was no want or desire within asking about a consideration of the agreement it was a simply a question that had no answer yet, as well there was no expectation so within that I was moving with the moment not trying to create an outcome based on my desires or expectations.


Within the same day I felt an inferiority towards another person and I was possessed by this and was afraid of exposing the point to the person. I held back for quite a while trying to ignore it but the backchat was persistent and I was not stopping it. So in a moment I did not think at all and just said I felt inferior to him and explained a bit why. There was no thoughts but again the fact that I vomited up the fear was cool. I was not even conscious of the fact that I decided to move on that point meaning the decision came from no thoughts, I just moved on that point. I was just about to go out for a smoke and as I stood up I spoke the words “I feel inferior to you” I exposed this point because it was bugging me I wrote SF on it and SC but it persisted and from the past when I have been possessed by this I have bluntly exposed it and it disappeared so I did the same thing and it did disappear we started to communicate more and share, because before we were quite silent towards eachother not talking or communicating about points. There was another point to that I was afraid of exposing and that was a point of jealousy. I was afraid of exposing that point to him because I knew it was nasty and did not want to expose that so I was quite hesitant about exposing the point many times I was about to push it out but held it in. Eventually again I pushed that fear out and exposed the point of jealousy to get it clear and expose it and again there was more of a communication.

I was stopping the communication within the physical through communicating to myself within backchatting and within bringing out the backchatting thus removing the `conversation` from the mind and bringing into the physical

The Self forgiveness and Self corrective statements that I have applied since doing the DesteniIprocess has been significant as the points have een coming out and I have been pushing them out when I would have suppressed them.

Investigate and consider the Desteni I process to remove fears and realize things actually are in this reality http://desteniiprocess.com As well Investigate an Equal Money System as the solution to humanity http://equalmoney.org

Self-Sabotage and Self-Trust

Apr. 3rd 2011 12:21pm


I ended up sleeping deciding to sleep for a bit, to move through some time while I waited for the day to begin after working. I slept past the time that I wanted to and within this I did not want to face the fact that I slept past that time so I slept more only compounding the problem. So I mean I cannot trust myself I have to check my starting point each time and I have to move on and within self-honesty or I will not be able to trust myself with my life which is definitely a problem. So to do what is best for me each and every moment within breath and not react like I have just done which is going out for lunch with my mom instead of staying here and writing myself out.

So I have noticed many times throughout the day I do not do what is best for me. I allow myself to go into thoughts about right and wrong within following a thought and debating whether or not I should when I know what is best for me within each and every thought, and within this, within the debate I know that I am debating for it when I should go against it, for example cigarettes, well not against it but disregard the debate and do what is best for me anyways. Doing what is best is simply not a debate it just is. It cannot be a question it is a statement. Like for example I will debate with myself whether or not I should do insulin at a particular moment and I will debate with myself on whether or not I should get up out of this lazy slump and do it. Many times I have allowed myself to go stay within that lazy slump putting off doing what is best for me which is insulin until later = when I get up. This is self-sabotage, where I chose to stay in my lazy slump and put off doing insulin in which I then go high and feel uncomfortable and then do damage to my body by doing this. So I have been self-sabotaging myself for quite a while and recently I have been judging myself for this separating myself from it, not taking responsibility for it and for changing it as me.

So slowly I am moving past each point of self-sabotage and judgment for sabotaging myself. I have to accept myself as that to change it because if I do not then I am separating myself from it giving it power over me.

Slowly breath by breath