Christianity Teaches Abdication of Self-Responsibility

A few days ago I was searching for my birth certificate with my mom. We stumbled on a writing that I did when I was in kindergarten or grades 1 or 2. The writing consisted of a writing to `God` which the school had the class do. In the writing I said things along the lines of “I love my parents and I hope that they live long”, and within that one point I saw that early on there was a fear of having to take care of myself. The one part of the writing though that really caught me was “I hope that you will take my mom into heaven as she is public”. To explain a bit, while in school I knew of two schools, catholic and public, so within that I had created a separation within defining a person by which school they go to, so I only knew my mom in terms of public at that moment.

This point shows me that while growing up in a catholic school I was taught to see people as religious or not. I was seeing people as religious or not and through that I was separating people in that point. I was not seeing equality I was being shown to look at people in terms of their religious standards.

When reading the part on how I saw my mom differently than me I reacted. I reacted because I saw that even then I was in separation from other people. I did not see them as another being on Earth, I connected definitions to them and held the definitions to them and I defined people as more or less that eachother through their religious group. I saw myself as more than my mother at that time because through the teaching of the catholic system, since I was believing in `god` I was immediately accepted into heaven and those that did not believe were not accepted into heaven, and through the teaching `heaven` is the ultimate joy of `life and death` and I was assuming that since my mother was not a Christian that she was not going to heaven simply because of that reason.

This is the `normal` teaching of Catholicism where believers will go to heaven and those that do not believe will not go to heaven, which is complete absurdity. This teaches separation and within this it teaches judgment, it teaches that it is fine to say whether or not a person is going to heaven on the fact of whether or not they believe, and many will keep their religious status just because they themselves want to go to heaven, thus not thoroughly investigating themselves in what they accept and allow within themselves and thus what they are accepting and allowing within reality. Thus religion is a point of abdication of self-responsibility  through placing the belief that simply because `I` `We` believe, we are going to heaven and thus ot caring what happens because in the `end we are going to heaven` = `it doesn’t matter what I do, god will forgive me because I believed in him` thus allowing the shit that is here on Earth to continue while in fact we are all equally responsible for what is here on Earth through/as being a participant here on Earth as One individual.

Heaven is a Fairy Tale

May 19^th 2011
The fascination with heaven is abundant in most if not all cultures within this world. The teachings within religion consist of describing heaven as a blissful existence and state of being...that if you can achieve going into heaven the rest of your existence will be bliss. The human condition is one that is addicted to positivity. We are all searching for that positivity in lives...you know the pursuit of happiness. Since heaven is within the mind as an idea one is able to focus on that entirely, and escape reality through focusing on that blissful state within their mind and try all that they believe they can do get to that idea within their mind. Even within the physical here everyone is searching for this idea of positivity within relationships, material objects, money, attaining enlightenment, etc. So the fascination occurs because it plays on the humans wants for this intense everlasting positivity and high energy. Humans fantasize because it is thus then the best thing that they could imagine because it is described as being the best and one must be the best to enter heaven...the Christianity form at least.

I remember reading a book about the crusades and that Middle Eastern Assassins. There was a story being told of a crusader going to meet up with a king from the assassins. The king showed the crusader just how much influence he had on his people and with a wave of his hand a man jumped from a watch tower to his death. There was one reason for this and that was because he thought bliss was on the other side of life. What happened previously is that the drugged up teenagers and when they became quite intoxicated and passed out, they brought them into a `garden of eden` which was a place in the castle where there was plenty of fruit and vegetables growing. They also had sex slaves there as well as well with hashish, so these teenagers would have the time of their lives and once again be drugged. When they woke up again they were out of that Eden and the kings had told them that they had experienced what was on the other side of life if you obey me etc, because the king was doing a `good` thing and one mut obey to the laws of `good` to go back to that eden. So of course there would be fascination about this heaven thing as it is described as the best thing one can imagine and then thus that desire for that everlasting positive feeling and experience exists within each human thus they fascinate and follow blindly.

No wonder Stephen Hawking said that Heaven is a fairy tale for those that are afraid of the dark. Reality here is dark, there is suffering everywhere, but many will not look...needless suffering. So heaven provides that state of mind where one can escape to and ignore the reality which is dark/negative and heaven being light/positive. Even in religion following the idea of heaven revolves around fear. Fear god and obey him and you may get into heaven, thus fear what is here = the negativity = ignore what is here = a blind fairy tale positive bullshit story that allows one to not look at what is here and come up with a solution to the suffering abuse, murder, rape, annihilation of the Earth, which will still exist when we are all dead...if we don’t do something about it Now. This IS no different that Santa Claus where god is Santa. A man who works in the north pole/sky that gives presents/salvation to the `good` in the world and hands coal/condemnation to those who are `bad`. Most people have believed this story in their lives only to realize it was a lie told by our parents to believe in something magical/miraculous. God is the same idea only we have not stopped believing it and looked at reality where lies are being told to get us to act by our parents/governments whim as being a good citizen/child and do not ask questions or question the authority.

Is heaven a possibility on Earth? It is a possibility but not within the current system. This system is all about winning and losing and ask yourself is that heaven when there are losers? This system is about haves and have nots, it is about luxury and poverty. Heaven in my opinion would be one where people will look out for what is best for all on this planet, where people do not kill eachother over resources or religions or ethnicities, where we do not end up raping this Earth from its resources. It gives to us unconditionally but we abuse. Heaven is within a change that humans must undergo to remove this `nature` of abuse, of rape, of murder, or hell basically. Heaven on Earth would be within an Equal Money System where the resource of money is provided to all equally, this causes no one to have to put themselves in compromising positions such as prostitution or child labour or making Iphones and Ipods for Apple working 12 hours a day or Jeans for Walmart making 35cents a day and having to support themselves as life within the means of that 35cents. Heaven would be where everyone on this Earth lives a dignified life. Heaven is only possible if the humans changes and is willing to change into doing what is best for all and live that principle instead of the self-interest being lived now. Heaven is possible through creating a new system and the system that is being supported as an actual solution in an Equal Money System as it takes on all of the points that exist here within this current system.

So if you truly want to exist within heaven = support the Equal Money System ( http://equalmoney.org ) Donate what you can because yes everything within this current system takes money for it to evolve and be produced, it is common sense then that this will take money to be implemented.

Investigate an EMS as the solution to the entire world problems as well investigate how this system operates and how an EMS will operate.

Emotional Turmoil

Ha, first thing felt was utter lonesomeness. So I was reading Lindsays blog post about why her and Joe broke up, and I was placing myself in a broken up position while reading that, the position of when My ex(Sarah) broke up with me. Absolutely, there was definitely Turmoil there and understand the affects of it after watching the Emotion Turmoil video. I was dependant on her to live for me. I was living vicariously through her. I gave no opinion in anything, It never `mattered` to me. Meaning I always followed. Through-out the relationship I see myself as a `cling=on` I would not let go. I believed that I needed her there to have some type of value in my life, and as I have written before I valued having a girlfriend. So holding onto her was a priority of mine…it is hard to find a starting point and move from there so this is going to be jumpy. I introduced her to desteni, and felt within myself judgement and embarrassment for the belief of it being `esoteric` and `odd` that was a belief I had then, and do not care what people think about it, I do not have thoughts about it, it is. So I was very uncomfortable sharing that with her, I was again dependant on her and she obviously held shit back about her thoughts on desteni, so when I brought it up the first few times I was attacked, and like in many other instances I set life aside for bullshit. I stopped talking about desteni for quite some time, My priority was keeping her around. I valued her life over mine. But not really, I valued her personality over mine, and was relying on her to support me as a personality through making decisions, and me following thus becoming her in a way. I gave up desteni for sometime, not entirely gave up, but really slowed down my participation and heavily involved myself in this relationship. Everytime I needed a refresher I would look up what was new for the material, although my participation could have been MUCH more. My writing started to become a point of blame and judgment, and not self-reflection, my writings were consisting of her that and her this. Looking at the Backchatting I was constantly thinking about breaking up with her, and moved on that point a few times, but I never followed through, this was a point of manipulation of me a form of scare tactics, to keep her around. The first time this happened I was feeling inferior and depressed and said that this was not going to work out, she broke into tears and within this saw how much I was wanted, and saw that through this I could keep her around, and that is what it somewhat became….a game of breaking up, as we `broke` up a few times. And truly I did want to break up, that was who I was in Honesty, I did not want to keep her around, I would have liked to move independent from her and focus on what I wanted to do, as I knew that I was giving up desteni for her and was giving up a lot of my `free` time to be with her. But I created that dependency, Value, and Reliance on that relationship, so I could not let it go. It felt liberating when I let it go the few times that I did, I `no longer` needed to worry about what she was feeling, I no longer cared about her thoughts/opinions on things. I am getting off of track here. So within backchatting I had hidden all of these thoughts, and within writing as well, I never allowed her to see my writings as they were full of blame. So I was constantly hiding myself and trying to deceive her to see a different person….that is why She broke up with me…I was not willing to let go, and she saw the truth. When breaking up I felt the energy absolutely dissipate, noticed this and said is there anything your holding back, she said no, and I said  when she is ready to tell me. So after an hour or so, she said that she wanted to break up that she no longer saw anything in me. Within this I was paralyzed, completely immovable, not out of fear, but realizing what is going on…ok yes out of fear, of realizing that I am now going to be alone and have no one to guide my within life. What is interesting is that I am sure this revolved around money. So I was not sure what to do…I was trying to stand on my own two feet again…this was a great lesson for me in who I have become. I had to go through this point to learn. So in the video Emotional Turmoil and Radical Relationships, Bernard explains that one will rush heavily into religion and/or spirituality, and at that point it was desteni for me, it was still something that it really isn’t for me. I felt lost and was trying to find out myself again, trying to restart everything…I was restarting everything as In that moment I was completely dependant and reliant on Sarah to live for me, to get me to live, she was my motivation to get up, although within using the word love I was deceiving her as within backchatting I was disgusted with her because I was disgusted with myself for giving up on myself and valuing her more. So she became my value to stay alive, to get up and to exist, so when we broke up I did not know where to go or what to do. I rushed back to desteni and participated fully, when I look at this now as I did when watching the video (Emotion Turmoil) there definitely is a point that I must physically move through and that would be a relationship that again I must remove because it is unsupportive within the terms of LIFE. I see that I must stand for myself when another point like that exposes itself within me, where I start to give myself up because of ideas and beliefs surrounding myself….I have started this process by removing ideas that I have of myself and bringing myself back to the physical living as my life, I still hold onto ideas around certain people that I have become comfortable being `this` around them, and have recently been removing that as past desires and inhibitions were flag points that I noticed…that around thepeople I felt comfortable with I wanted to smoke, and alone I noticed that I have stopped.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become reliant and dependant on others. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to depend and rely on myself, trusting myself to hold myself up. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on a female expression to support me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value others personalities over my own life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value personality over life.  I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to value life. Again a bit off track, So I heavily invested myself into desteni again, knowing that there is where I needed to be to get back to life andplace myself in the `right` direction. I started writing on the forum and watching videos everyday again, There is regret towards giving myself up for a relationship, giving myself up meaning stopping participating in what I wanted to do for another, because I see that if I were to continue the way that I was when I first found desteni then I could have understood a lot more much quicker….so that is a desire to not have my history existent, to change my history…I have looked at this point yesterday and it is what it is, there Is no changing it, I am here and on the path, and being `farther ahead` in process is a lie and a deceit , I have to live with what is here and move myself with what is here and if it is unsuitable for the conditions of life then I take the time to remove it.