Sexomania

Sexomania is the word used to define the addiction to sex and the pandemic that it is becoming. According to reports 3-5% of the population are sexomaniacs, which are people that have uncontrollable desires to have sex and have issues directing their life due to the massive influence of sex on their lives. Frequently they have uncontrollable urges to have sex in which they compromise themselves completely, such as not drinking water or eating food to satisfy their urge for sex. Sexomaniacs fail to explain how the urge originates with detail only that they become sex obsessed and start to look for any and every way to fulfill their sexual desire. The term sexomaniac was previous used in a humorous context yet now it has become a legitimate mental illness which treatment is being given for.

We all have a sexual desire within ourselves, we all have the want for sex, yet within society we have deemed it as naughty as something that we must hide from others view, as something that we can be and are ashamed of. Society has defined sexuality as something that we must not be public about, and in turn we as individuals become ashamed of our sexuality and we start to not understand our sexuality due to the suppression of sex within/as culture/society, yet it still being such a large part of society/culture. The fact that sex and sexuality has become hidden in the background is a part of why we are becoming so sexually enslaved and controlled. Since it is being held in the background of society makes us want it more, as it is something that is us, yet we are living as if it is not us, meaning that sex is us yet we live out our daily lives as if it is not us, meaning that we all think about sex often enough, yet the point of/as those thoughts are not expressed in daily life, thus we lock ourselves in rooms and use the thoughts, ideas, and images to support our sexuality, which is damaging to us as sexuality.

Daily we go through our days with sexual thoughts, and sexual triggers on billboards, on commercials, in the media, in fashion, and since it is not acceptable for sexuality to be expressed in public we suppress these thoughts and desires, to a point where we end up acting out on them, to a point where we can no longer suppress the sexual desires, and we look to experience the thoughts and ideas we have in our heads, which leads to porn and the endless sub-categories within/as porn, and the one night stands which we attempt to live out the fantasies. How these thoughts are damaging is that no matter what they cannot be lived out in the physical reality. No matter how hard one tries to find the idea in their head in the physical reality, it will not occur, because we create an idea and an energy around that idea, with a fucked up sense of reality (the mind), then when we get to acting out those ideas in the physical reality and it does not match up with the idea and energy we have in our head, which can lead to the never ending search for that `perfect` sexual experience. The damage occurs from not being able to sexually express oneself effectively/correctly in the physical reality. The thoughts can build up to a never ending search for that idea of sex we hold in our heads and thus can lead to sexomania where our lives are consumed with a want to experience sex.

In 60-100AD, during the Roman empire, sex was publicly shown, there were paintings of sexual positions on walls in houses openly viewing to anyone who were to enter that house. They were comfortable with the fact that they have sex, it seems as they were far from attempting to hide the fact that they have sex. Only when it became suppressed did it become a problem or morality, guilt, shame, fear, embarrassment, desire, lust, etc. It became a problem because we all would like sex and are fearful about bringing it up in normal conversation, as it is `socially unacceptable`, and then we use our mind to create sexual fantasies that cannot `live up to` the physical reality, and then we get dislocated and separated from the physical reality. All of this leads to sexomania, so it is our environment and our accepted ways of society/culture that help influence the desire for sex, thus the solution is to change the environment/society/culture. We must again become open with the fact that we have sex and stop hiding it from one another as we all have sex and have sexual thoughts/experiences open it up and stop mystifying the act of sex allowing curiosity to reign and the sexual desires to reign over our life. 

To open up to ourselves about our sexuality helps as well as we stop mystifying it to ourselves and we begin to understand ourselves in terms of sexuality. This has become a massive issue for the world to deal with as it has been suppressed for quite a few centuries now and has lead to the massive pornography boom that we now see, it is time to open sexuality up to ourselves, stop hiding it in the background so that we can understand ourselves better and stop being controlled by the desire for sex. For more information of the control of ourselves through/as sex visit http://desteni.org

Sexxx Sells

A technology has been developed that can accurate map and mimic the activity within the brain within certain experiences. The scientists looked at how this technology could be useful, but they were only looking at usefulness from the perspective of money. They started to come up with an idea for the possibility for a chip to be inserted or surgically implanted that mimics the functions of an orgasm and thus can trigger an orgasm. They are supposing that this technology will be here in 2030 for commercial use. The chip would be successful (make much profit) in the sex industry with telephone sex, and with a type of cyber sex café that they have come up with to fit with this technology. Within this it is easy to see how science is heavily influenced only by profit margins as well, thus the science industry is no different from a corporation

This is only another type of masturbation. It is obvious. Within this though we become much more automated than how we are today. An orgasm can thus be produced with a touch of a button at any place or anytime.

We know that sex controls most of our actions…the male thinks about sex every 7 seconds or so, thus we are constantly being directed by sex. This invention/idea is the manifestation of such thoughts. We will be even more controlled by sex through having an orgasm be simulated through the touch of a button, and this brings up the question…if an orgasm can be simulated by a chip then what makes the orgasm real?

Technology has become fucked due to the influence of money,  all technology has the influence of how it can make the most money, instead of what is the most practical and assisting point for this technology to be developed into. Since money is involved in our lives we only consider money, this is how us within money and how we have used it have fucked ourselves to not see past the illusion that is money and to see what we are in fact doing to ourselves and this Earth. Within this current system there is barely an opportunity to consider what is best for all, I mean even with this technology one can simulate a stable brain pattern for a person who is bipolar and solve various mental diseases, but since there is not as much money is cures as there is in sex that option is not considered, thus science and technology have become but a joke…another gimmick to sell us on.

This is the influence of money, this is why an Equal money system is the best thing for this world, as there is no profit in an EMS, thus no greed, thus no influence by/as money to get the most money out of something. The only consideration left is how to make the best possibility from such product.  “Love of money drives people to become who, what, how, where and when they are – so, equally does fear of money; fear of what happens when one doesn’t have money drives one into an acceptance and adherence of the world-system itself.” – Equal Money book. Found at http://eqafe.com . This world has become disgusting due to how we have become. Time to stop it and re-start a new world starting with ourselves.

Immauturity in the Approach to Sex

Immaturity within/as Sex
When I first attempted to have sex I could not get it up. I was nervous, anxious and fearful of what the act of sex would entail and within that had many ideas, images, thoughts about how to experience myself within/as sex. Within this I was not placing myself as the maturity I needed to deal with/as sex. I was still very kiddish about it meaning, I saw it as an adult thing, I placed myself as less then, I did not go into it with the attitude I needed to get it up.

I did not have the maturity to understand what exactly I was participating in, I did not see myself equal to it, I saw it as a fun and game type deal and not seriousness, meaning taking the breath, slowing myself down and participating equal and one within the physical act of sex. I had the mentality of a kid, I had the expression `Ouuuuuu sex yay` which in itself is a kiddish expression. I did not have the capacity to understand what I was moving myself within and within that had no idea, yet many ideas on how to interact with my partner within sex.

The point that brought this out was a self-forgiveness statement, one that said  “I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter into sex/sexuality within me and my world in absolute uncertainty/fear/anxiety/unknown - all reactions manifested within me with walking 'behind the veil into the secret dark land of the grownups' without any understanding/comprehension of the actuality of what sex is as an actual self-expression of/as the physical, but instead accepted and allowed myself to give-into fear and fall into darkness and participate in secret, equal-to an done with how thos ethat have gone before be approached the world/action of sex and within that - fell into, fed and created the wordl/actuality that sex has become for humanity for which I am equally as one responsible for, for not taking self-responsibility in who I am within and as sex from the start” – In this I saw that when I was not able to get an erection I was seeing myself as a kid moving into a grown up world of/as sex not seeing it as a physical expression and within this not giving myself the maturity to take a breath and find out what is was for myself and not letting any ideas thoughts or images I have created through masturbation and within/as the media to influence me on how I was going to go about within/as sex.

I was far from being stable within myself at that point and the point still comes up = fear of starting sex with a new person. Therefore maturity within approaching and dealing with sex is a must, as it is not an `adult` thing that I participate in, it is a physical act that we all participate in equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to approach the act of sex with a immature stance as an expression of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a kid moving into the `grown up` world when participating in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when about to have sex with excitement stimulating the ideas emotions thoughts and images instead of breathing calming myself down and moving with/as the physical within/as the act of sex

Sexuality

I have feared women. I have valued them more than me. I have placed myself in an inferiority position to women. This comes from the fact that my mom `excersized` her power of me when I was a kid. Thus I believed that women are more than me…more powerful than me. So that is the point that I have created them as more than me. When I was a kid, my sister caught me in the shower and said that my penis was small. Then valuing women more than me I valued her word more than my own. I started to believe that my penis was small. This got passed onto my classmates and other females in my class as my sister spread to word. I felt very insecure within this because I had no idea whether it was small or not and evidently neither did she. Since I valued her opinion more than mine I started to believe that my penis was small. And within this I started to fear women judging me thus seeing me as less then me, placing value on myself through/as acceptance from women. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value on myself through/as acceptance from females. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to value myself only if females accept me. So I was insecure about myself from there on around females. As I have realted my mental exposure to my physical exposure I never exposed myself to females. That starting point of unintentional physical exposure to a female and then being judged as inferior to my value system of penis size, which is completely ridiculous and irrelevant, I started to feel inferior to women and started to fear exposing myself around them, and started to feel awkward and uncomfortable around women. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value the size of a penis I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women’s value’s lie on penis size. So within that I have been fearing being judged by women as I have seen them as more powerful than me so I have resisted opening myself up to them and therefore I have been trying to create a perception of me as superior to them. I have been desiring to be accepted by them, I have been wanting to be accepted by them as I saw myself not being accepted unconditionally as a child through my mother beating me, so I have struck up conversation little bits at a time with certain females and if I feel accepted by them I will then start to create a fantasy about them, and be happy that they are accepting me, as I feel comfortable around them, not fearing being judged by them through this belief of acceptance.


This acceptance is also a form of comfort for me. I cannot have sex with another…well currently if I feel uncomfortable, if I am judging myself, I simply cannot get it up until I feel comfortable. So for example with my last girlfriend, I was staying at her house and planned to have sex with her…this was my first time and was nervous and uncomfortable so I could not get it up, this happened before as well and went in to a spiral of judgement and basically ran away from the situation, this time I had to face it as I was sleeping there. Lol my thought pattern went as such: Fuck I hope she does not judge me for this, I cannot get out of here, I am going to have to stay here for the night, then when I woke up: cool she still wants to be around me, I do not feel judged, I feel comfortable. I was then able to fuck. The main point Is that I did not judge myself entirely for this matter, I allowed it to go and felt as though she was not judging me…I ws looking for judgement within her, I was looking for the judgment of myself within her, did not find it and felt comfortable. So I have had this fear of being judged from when I was exposed to my sister and judged as being `less than` within my own mind, and attached this point to all females, allowing myself to believe that the inferior feeling I felt was real, and thus not allowing myself to again expose myself to a female. Ok So lots of memories and thoughts….When Iwas with a girlfriend before my last, this same shit happened and this is when I `ran` from facing myself, but that is beside the point. When we were to make out we would dry hump, and eventually she started giving me a hand job. I was hard before she stuck her hands down my pants, but felt that I was going limp as she started to touch me, and got nervous within this and tried as hard as I could to keep my dick hard. Within this I became immediately worried about how she would think of me and was much more focused on that than the physical feeling. It was a fear of her seeing the `real me` instead of me acting like my `dick is so big` , it was a fear that she would then and there know the `real` me. I went limp because Iwas not sharing my entire mental self with her then, I did not expose myself entirely mentally, thus allowing myself to expose myself physically. That whole event of being exposed to my sister did some interesting things to me…I was inadvertently exposed to my sister and then `mentally attacked` through the value that I held so within that moment my physical was exposed and then defined by a female who I thought to be more than me and then my mental placed an insignificance onto myself through value of penis size. So I believed that I was inferior physically to the value system of penis size and inferior to women through as power and thus believed myself to be entirely inferior to females. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to become equal in all ways always around and to females, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up my power of myself to females. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand on my own two feet for myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as inferior.

Ok so bring this back to me, I am the one responsible for placing value on penis size, I am the one responsible for accepting the belief within myself of having a small penis, I have an average penis not small nor big so I am letting this belief and value of penis size go. I am the one who has been accepting myself to be uncomfortable around females through fear of being judged and I am the one who has been placing value on their opinion of me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value females opinions of me over my own knowledge of myself. I am simply no longer going to desire to be accepted by females. I am not longer going to accept myself to feel uncomfortable around females. I am simply going to allow myself to be me I am not longer going to judge myself around females. I am not longer going to accepted myself to judge myself as inferior to females. I am not longer going to desire to be accepted by females. I am accepting myself as me around everyone. Why am I accepting myself to not accept myself around females? Because I have given my power over to them through as my belief of them being more than me, giving them the power to place value on me…HA and it all comes from me I believe that if they smile then they accept me, if they are positive then I am accepted and if they `respond` negatively then I am unaccepted thus valuing myself accordingly, I take back the power I never gave away. I empower myself from here out. Till here no further do I accept myself to give my power away to a belief of women compared to me nor do I accept myself to de-value myself around women.

Ok so what is cool is that Through feeling inferior to women I have then directed myself to males at times. I have directed myself to males…cool no discomfort writing about this. I have directed myself to this because I have felt immediately accepted by most males and have been comfortable around them for the most part, as I have had no fear of being judged around them or judging myself around them. Although there is still a uncomfortablility around my friends as I have believed that I need to be accepted so I have mimicked them to get their `approval`. And I see that now as I saw it before but never expanded on it through writing. Ok so memories : when I moved to this city from the one I `grew up` in I was very fearful of being accepted by others, it was in grade 2, but still feared being an outcast. What happened when I walked into that class was one of my former friends ran up to me and screamed do you want to be my friend? So this was like an icebreaker for me and I did not fear meeting anyone knew as I had a `way in` to the class through this individual. So from my experience I have been accepted easily by males and thus have developed a relationship with them as being comfortable around them as being accepted by them, and this being the polarity to females, so I have developed an attraction to males but again it is just from a comfort point. When I am attracted to males it is simply out of physical attraction I have never fantasized about having a relationship with a male, I have only fantasized about having a relationship with females. Females are there for support as I have seen myself as less than them, I have believed that I need a female in my life to keep me `afloat`. When I was attracted to a male today it was as if he was a like mind, one that I could relate to, as well it was the physical features. It is the exact same with a women…physical features, and being a like mind that I can relate to, as well as emotional support. So males it is about again comfortability, that I am more comfortable around them and me being attracted to myself through muscles I am then attracted to other males for the same reasons, again I cannot see me in a relationship with a male, I cannot relate to them sexually I do not enjoy sex with males, it is just that I have feared myself allowing myself to just be around females to the extent that I have directed myself towards males. I have had sex with a male, but this was because I was completely curious why sex was so big in this world and was desiring to experience it in any way. It was not out of a attraction but curiosity. When I was attracted today it felt as though that I could relate to this guy completely and the physical features is what I was attracted to as well.

K so there is no point further to take this within writing, only to live it now, I am going to remove my uncomfortability and desire to be accepted by everyone, male and female, and allow me to express myself with judgment of myself. See where that takes me, as I am seeing that the points between the female and male are roughly the same. I feel uncomfortable around males that I see as superior to me…why do I see that? And I am attracted to males that I see as equal to me same with females I am attracted to ones who I see that I am equal to, ones that I can relate to, and I feel uncomfortable around others from judging myself, as being less than and that my actions are less than theirs and that I must make others smile to not feel inferior to them. I am attracted to people who I can REALTE to, that is the key here, and I am going to remove all of these inferiorities and see where I end up and I am going to stop judging myself and see where I end up and each time bring it back to me all ways always. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to bring myself back to myself in all ways always. I am attracted to people who I can relate to to bring me the most comfort. So if I cannot relate to women have a female expression around that I can relate to then I will go to a male, as I see absolutely no difference between the 2. Male and Female are the same to me…it is the person who I can relate to and it does not matter to me whether or not it is female or male…I am going to investigate this further and check out everything.

Looking at the attraction to males it is physical attraction, based on muscle and style and features. I again feel comfortable around them and want to let go and be supported by them. For Females, it is again the features firstly and the face, the face says everything about the expression and that is what I am drawn to, how they express themselves. So I am attracted to a specific type of expression in another. One that I can relate to, so lets say plays video games or skates..that is the physical relation and the mental relation would be one of needing and wanting support, so that I would support them as much as they would support me. Lookin at this and bringing it back to me now, I do not need this nor am I this any longer. I have supported myself, and am working on supporting myself in All ways. It is still `inherent` within me to look for that support from another individual. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for support within an agreement/relationship within another being. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support myself unconditionally. So when that support exists I can feel comfortable in knowing that they know me well enough to push certain buttons within me to support me personality wise and ego wise. Again my solution is to investigate myself whenever an attraction arises within me and to not go into an agreement/relationship for at least a year, supporting myself within that year entirely.

I was investigating myself today within this point and I have noticed that Men I am comfortable around physically, because I have never felt judgment from them physically, but mentally I have. I am mentally comfortable around women, because I have been able to share anything mentally with women throughout my life. So this is very interesting how I was judged on my penis size and within that I started to believe myself to be inferior and I now fear exposing myself physically to women. And this whole `Men don’t share emotions` that is involved within society has affected me as well. I have allowed myself to fear exposing myself mentally to other males. So the solution is to equalize myself to both points and bring it back to me, as I am responsible for this, it is to share myself with anyone, male or female who I am able to share myself with. And to not judge myself as inferior physically.