Writing Within Ego

Mar 21th 2011 5:27am


I have been allowing myself to participate within ego again. I was just participating in it this morning and fighting with myself to remove it until I realized that I am not it. I am not within my mind I am here. I feel disgusted that I have allowed myself to place myself within a more than role, it is something that does not need to be done and I do it because I `feel good` about myself for something that I have defined myself as. For example if I believe that I have written something `worthwhile` through that belief I make myself believe that I am of worth, and place myself in a position of some worth, if I do not write for a few days I then start to feel of no worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself of a measurement of worth

I cannot measure my worth

worth is an idea of the mind based on something defined as `valuable`

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stabilize myself here when writing

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to place myself here while I write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value within writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write to value myself

When I write I place myself here feeling each key stroke to stabilize myself here within the physical.

I am not of the ego

I am not what I think I am

I am not this value and/or worth I have defined

This point bothers me as I get a feeling of disgust because I know that I have not honoured life.

I looked back at my writing from the day before about the suffering of an apple and I realized that it was out of ego, that it was resonating ego. I did not enjoy that realization because I know that I am not more than anything, I know that it really has of no worth or value. “So I have answered the question as I am equal to the apple as life as a being that can feel. “ Within those words…I re-wrote them on the blog post because I knew what I did…It obvious resonates a placement of being more than.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write out of ego.

This point I know is of ego because I was thinking about that for some time, believing it to be a good question, holding onto it to fuel my ego, and as I posted it to I was looking for a response. So all of those things I noticed yet did not `register` in a sense of exactly what I was doing so I allowed myself to post it not allowing myself to become aware of the fact that it was out of ego.

I stop allowing myself to post out of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write to be seen

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write out of ego

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to write to share myself

I start here writing to share myself.