Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I started writing about Excuses and then watched a bit of Inception and it turned out like this.
When I make an excuse I do not want to face something. When I make an excuse it is because I have always been looking for a reason to be excused from taking responsibility for my actions. I have just fucked with myself within/as my mind, this is most likely from sleeping so much, I am going to push through this. When I do not want to be self-honest I make an excuse, whenI do not want to face something I make an excuse. I use excuses to justify my own dishonesty. There is really no point in lying to myself anymore, I can take the truth, and even if I am abuseful within it I can take it, as I have always been abuseful without knowing it, and now I know it and I can face it and even continue it if I want to, it is facing myself and I am not afraid of facing myself any longer. It is not scary, I know that I am abuseful, I know that I am dishonest, but I do not need to be dishonest anymore, I will be self honest. Excuses are just used to be dishonest with yourself, as well are justifications. They all promote the exact same thing which is not being honest with self and direct with self. I am going to direct myself and not allow myself to abuse myself. When I make an excuse I do not want to face the fact that I am abusing myself so I put up a front that is like a flower shop or a grocery shop, like mafias do, they put up a front to the extortion, drug dealing, prostitution that goes on behind the scenes. And that is what I do when I make an excuse, I put up a front so that what I am doing is not front and center and not able to be directly faced. It Is really intricate at how I do this…It is all to escape myself, all to place myself within another idea, situation, make believe idea/situation. I do not need to make excuses, excuses allow me to take myself away from what I am actually doing, making myself believe that I am an within an idea, I am here and here is not an idea, it is the physical, all thoughts allow me to create a false reality, to not think is to actually see what is here, it is to actually see what is here. Here is just the physical reality, but it is REAL it feels it touches, it BREATHES, it exists, the red brick wall in my mind does not, I cannot feel it, I cannot be  hurt by it I can only imagine it, and imagination is not real, and to play with myself throughout/with using  my mind is really abusive as I am not placing myself in reality. The minds reality is something that has been self-created. And the physical reality is something that we all live in that is aswell self created, as we are the power of the Earth…we are the controllers and if we are controlled than the controllers of the controllers  control the world, so the systems and programs that we have GIVEN ourselves to have been the creators of this world, as us. So everything that we are and is within this world is the system, that being so means that this world is fucking hard to transcend because we have hidden ourselves DEEP within ourselves, creating many many many layers of deceit to deceive ourselves of who we really are…but really we haven’t been the creators, initially what happens is that the parents have become the systems and then make the children follow the systems, with rules and regulations and if they are not followed then abuse happens and through that abuse one becomes subject to the world and then allows the implantation to no longer be abused. Yet we always get abused no matter what, this world is abusive, so if one give into becoming this world they too become abusive and decide to not realize it. We are responsible for prolonging this abuse.

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