The Ambulance Ride

My sister  wakes me up at 3 in the morning telling me that there is a police officer at the door. In my childhood, I was a little shit sometimes, so I quickly check if there was anything wrong that I have done recently that would involve the cops. I don't see any reason for them to be there regards to my `bad` actions, so I put on pants and walk confidently down the stairs to see what was going on. The police officer says that I must come with him to the hospital and that was all that was said to me. I wasn't informed of what was exactly going on. I knew it was a big deal because this was far out of the pattern of my routine life, but I could not figure out exactly why this situation was presenting itself. I walk upstairs put a shirt on, walk out the door to see an ambulance sitting in the driveway with its lights flashing. My initial reaction was of shock. I thought that I would be traveling with the cop, never considering that an ambulance was sent to the house as well. I walk into the ambulance alone, while my mother and sister follow in the cop car, sit down on the uncomfortable seat being told to buckle up…not understanding that I would have to buckle up for the remainder of my life, riding the ups and downs of my blood glucose levels.

In the ambulance the paramedics were asking me questions: "Did you eat anything before you went to bed" "2 pepperettes" I told them as they were taking blood from my finger and placing it on a machine. They wait a bit and the one says to the other "He is still at 32", ignoring the fact that I am there to. By the way I still had no idea what the fuck was actually happening , so for a note to paramedics who may read this who may be in a similar situation, EXPLAIN what is going on to the patient instead of leaving them guessing for the entire time allowing fears and ideas and beliefs pop up in their heads. As they said that I was still 32, in my mind I was hoping that I was supposed to be at 27, in hopes that I was not as fucked as the situation presented itself to be. To calm my fears I start small talk with them, like why can they not wear seatbelts but I have to? Was eating pepperettes a bad thing? I did not want to be in that situation at all. I wanted to carry on with my life ignorantly of anything, not having to deal with reality as shown in my previous blog, where I did not consider the reality of the physical body and the effects my eating habits were having on the body. The paramedics and I sit in silence for the remainder of the ride.

When we get to the hospital, I sit in the ambulance while we wait for the patient ahead of us in the ambulance queue to be processed. This gives me time to mull over thoughts in my head about what exactly is going on. There is a lot of fear within me, but I have placed trust within the paramedics, believing that they know how to take care of me, which helps suppress the fear a bit. I get out of the ambulance and meet up with my sister and mother before the hospital entrance. With a minimal understanding of what is going on we walk straight into the ER. We walk past the front desk where the nurses and doctors are stationed, and as I walk pass the doctor was in surprise that I was walking on my own two feet. She expected me to be unconscious in a diabetic coma telling me that when I got my blood tested that afternoon I was up at 57…later I find out that my cousin, who is also type 1, was carried into the hospital in my uncles arms unconscious when she had a similar ordeal. After I walk in I am lead to a room in the ER, laid down on a bed and was hooked up to an IV to give me the necessary help to help calm my sugars and restore my body to the normal functions of the body. As I laid there I wasn't aware that that night was the first night of being a diabetic for the rest of my life.

For others who may go through similar processes, ask what is going on, if you are unaware of the situation ask questions until you understand. Surprisingly children are quite intelligent despite what adults may perceive them to be, so explain to them what is going on, they will understand.  I will blog about how sport and my sugar intake as a kid assisted in the development of type 1 diabetes.

When I Fainted In Class

I was in grade 8 at the time of the incident, making me 14. I had been drinking excessive amounts of liquids. I would drink a litre carton of juice in 15 minutes and pee it out in the next 15 minutes. The thirst that I has was unquenchable, and I tried fucking hard to quench it. My family first noticed this when I was out for dinner with my father. I told him that evening that I had been incredibly thirsty for quite some time so I would like a large drink. Usually I would never finish my drink when going out on the weekly dinner with my father, but this time it was the first thing I finished. We went driving around for a bit and I asked if I could get some water went to a coffee place and got a cup of water that tasted like it had coffee in it. I didn't care though I drank that as fast as I could, to which he replied "Wow you really are thirsty today". Nothing was questioned in this moment, all I knew is that I was incredibly thirsty and peeing a lot. This was, of course, a major difference in my body function and at that time I was assuming that it would eventually go away, which it did not. This thirst lasted for, from what I can remember a bit over a week, until I fainted in class, when my world changed.

That day we were dong a morning exercise, that we had recently set up as a class, to get our bodies flowing in the morning. I pushed myself quite hard in the physical exercise as I have always done with physical activity. We then were in the cool down period, standing breathing, taking a rest, so that out heart rates would calm down appropriately. I was standing against the blackboard with my friend next to me, and all I remember is black going limp and then waking up on the floor with everyone in a circle around me. Through stories shared by my friends, I leaned on my friend who I was standing beside, whom was quite a large fellow…possibly I thought that he will be able to handle me as I went unconscious into blackland. During this my other friend started to yell "Woah, WOah, WOAH!," as he watched my body collapse onto my one friend. Then I woke up, was a bit dizzy then got up and felt fine after 10 or so minutes. I had no consideration if anything was wrong with my body, I felt fine so I assumed everything with me was fine. Later that day I went and got blood work done, needle in blood comes out into tubes and off I go. Little did I know that my life from then on would involve needles on a daily basis. I went home after that and was still drinking a large amount of liquids. I have a specific memory of my feet being propped up on a desk watching television with a carton of juice to my side and a bag of cinnamon hearts in my lap, getting up every half hour to take a piss.

To my knowledge everything was fine, I was only drinking lots and having to pee out lots. I was still functional, I was still breathing, I was still alive and that’s all I considered. That was the problem that lead to all this, I did not consider my human physical body at all. I did not consider what I was putting into my body, I liked sugar and that’s all I cared for, I liked eating what I wanted, when I wanted, that's all I cared for. I did not consider that my human physical body is life itself, I did not consider that this physical reality has manifested consequences through actions, I did not consider that what I put into my body and what I did with my body had a lifelong effect. I did not consider that my human physical body can be fragile to what I put in it, I did not consider that all the candy that I was eating was having a detrimental effect on my life, I did not consider myself as life in fact. So that night I ate 2 pepperettes before bed, went to sleep feeling fine to my consideration.

The next thing that happens; I am woken by my sister telling me that there is a cop at the door for me.

I will continue in the next blog.

Desteni Farm and the Equal Labour System

Here on the desteni farm we all work together to get something done in order to improve the farm. In work at home I am only working in existing or myself because the job that I do is only for me, my money and my survival. Here it is not about survival it is about what is best for all, we have to labour for the best for the gardens, plants, animals, structures, humans, all life here that we deal with.

There is no profit motive for us to work. There is an understanding that if we don’t work then the farm here will be infested with weeds, the horses would not have enough food, the animals would be angry at us for not taking care of them, the plants would die out, not being able to provide food, the structures would start to crumble, it must be upkept. In this understanding we work together to maintain the place in which we all live and create it as a place that we all enjoy living within. We put in a collective effort to maintain and develop the farm. The girls work with the garden and plants, where the boys will work with the heavy labour, in this the boys build a garden and the girls will plant all the plants, both working collectively and both share in the rewards of the food grown or shelter built etcetera.

In comparison to my job where I work to survive within the matrix of the world, it can be argued that we all work collectively to get the job done but this is not in fact so. We don’t collectively agree to take a certain job because of a `fair` distribution of jobs, but we take them because they provide us the most money. In that we are actually fighting eachother, not working in agreement to work for the collective of the workforce. As well the job is based on a percentage rate, and the higher percentage you get above a base percentage the more money you get, so we all decide to fuck each other over because we are working in order to survive, not working in collective to get the job done, but always in competition with each other, which leads to extreme stress at times. For example at an office job and there is a promotion coming up and you and another have the opportunity to get the promotion, we stress ourselves out in order to get the promotion to receive more money, so that we can `live` a `better` life. Taking that into consideration, here we are working together so that we all live a better life, where in my job we all compete so that only a few can live a better life, which is not in consideration of what is best for all

The amount of work that we get done is phenomenal. Here we can see the results at the end of the day. We see the garden that has been rotovated, and we see the amount of work that has been put in, and with only 8 guys we have gotten more done with physical results than I have ever participated in. We all have specific jobs, same as the capitalistic system, that we work on and in the end bring it all together so that a project is finished for the whole of the farm. In the capitalistic system we all have specific jobs that we all participate in and in the end we do not benefit the whole but in fact destroy the whole through separation within/as our own greed of money and the necessity to survive in competition with others…simply look at the world and how it’s path is heading and you can see that we are in fact destroying the whole instead of working in agreement within equality and oneness that in fact support the whole to live within the best possible living standards/conditions that is possible in any given moment.

This is equal to how the Equal Money Labour system will work within the Equal Money System, Not working for Profit but for the consideration of the whole, because our living need will be met, thus we need no more than what we have, and when I say need, it is NOT bare minimum needs but a car, a computer, an internet connection, all that one in fact needs in this world. The only thing that is left is to work in agreement to maintain and expand ourselves within/as this world to make all life here expand equal and one with us as we expand when working together, for example in places where there is no infrastructure the motivation is not money but the need for infrastructure, thus the more people work on and agree that infrastructure is needed, the faster it will be developed. It is all based on the needs for people and self. In this all life here works together to make this world the best place in equality and oneness, not in separation from ourselves as our neighbours in how we are existing now. The Equal Labour system will in fact be enjoyable and one is allowed to work at one’s own pace without stress of having to survive within working, the job that needs to get done will get done through the collective participation in all that do in fact participate in it. For example my back has been an issue from working my job. When I got here, started working and felt back pain, they told me not to push myself because then I would compromise myself for the rest of the week/month. In my job I am still required to hit standards whether or not it compromises myself or not I am still expected to hit my standards and this is where the stress can come in as well, and we are all susceptible to this. Where in the Equal Labour System there is no need for profit on the whole so those who `employ` will have the best interest of the `employees` always in consideration without waver. This is why we must implement the Equal Money System, so that we are able to work together, but we also must stop the competition within ourselves, here we are working within a capitalistic system but we are not in competition with each other, we are working for the whole, not individual selves. Visit equalmoney.org, read the material, participate in the discussions and share your vote.

My Experience being a Diabetic with the Ketogenic Diet

 Prior to being diagnosed with diabetes I was 80lbs, I was quite thin, I had a `good` looking body in that aspect. Then from being diagnosed with type 1 I started to inject insulin when I rapidly gained 40lbs in about a 4 month span. Why did this happen? Because the lack of insulin that my body was producing was not allowing the body to gather the carbohydrates that I was taking in and transfer them into the cells so that they can use up the energy within the glucose. What happens here is that sinec the body is not getting sugar in the form of glucose by body started to eat the fat away from me causing me to be quite thin, and from the perspective of `looks` there was nothing wrong with me, but what was in fact happening was that my liver was breaking down my fats in my body to allow an energy production to happen. This was causing ketones to flow through my blood in excess which cause keto acidosis which makes the blood toxic to all the organs that it flows to, which is the entire body.

I was incredibly thirsty in this time, I would drink a litre of juice (not knowing I had diabetes, I thought that was fine) within a half hour then piss it out immediately because my body was attempting to get rid of the ketones within the blood stream. It is a problem when the body needs more water than normal because that entail that it is trying to get rid of something in the body through flushing it out. Drinking more water is not the solution to working with ketones, because the build up of ketones is the issue, not the fact that the body needs to flush it out. And the build up of ketones is from the burning of fats, because the body’s primary source for energy is glucose…there is a reason for the pancreas to exist, if we only needed to burn fats then why would we need the pancreas to allow glucose to enter the cells, and why not just use fats predominantly?, so when it has to resort to is secondary source for creating energy there are consequences involved with doing so, that being the creation of ketones causing the blood to become toxic and the body to require more fluids to assist in removing the toxicity. Understand that keto acidosis is an excess build up of ketones in the blood stream, the body does burn fats as well, but burning too much fats is extremely detrimental to the physical body through the toxicity that is produced.

Yesterday I worked with the ketogenic diet to find out if it will be assisting for me as a diabetic. Diabetic keto acidosis is when there is too much glucose in the blood stream through lack of insulin causing the body to burn fats, and then creating ketones. This happens predominantly when the blood sugar is high, so I made sure that I did my morning and evening injection so that I had my base rate of insulin to counteract the natural elevation in the blood sugar throughout the day, without the injection of carbs. I made sure that I covered this point because being too high would be detrimental to my health. I ate fruit periodically throughout the day when I would go low to keep my blood sugar to where it needs to be. Throughout the day I was exactly where I needed to be, there was not a reading that I was above 8, but that does not mean that it was `good`. With the injection in the morning and the physical activity that I did throughout the day and eating small amounts of carbs, I went low periodically. Before I went to sleep I checked my blood sugar and it was at 4.0 so I ate a banana because 4.0 is on the verge of being low. When I would normally eat carbs throughout the day eating a piece of fruit like this should have at least put me up to 6.0. I woke up to being 2.7 which means that my body used up all the sugars in the banana plus some to get what it needed.

It is best to not demonize one thing and glorify another, there is a reason for the organs in the body and they all have their uses, so if an organ is removed from the equation through diet it is going to have consequences on the body which may show up later down the road or with immediacy. Best to investigate the best balance between each category of food before one says that it is this way or that way, not using information but testing it through self.