Standing In For the Pancreas

Through having diabetes I must take the place of the pancreas and live out the actions in my day to day living of what the pancreas would normally do if it were functioning normally. In this I must stand in place for the pancreas. For supporting the body at maintaining the blood sugar levels, I must manually inject insulin into the body so that the sugar within the blood is able to move from the blood stream into the cells and not raise too high causing health problems.

This is an extensive process and includes quite a variety of variables, such as the food that I eat, whether it is a mono or complex carbohydrate, when/how much I sleep, how much I exercise, any illness that I run into, any stress that I cause for myself, insulin dosages my life style and life habits, with each variable having a varying affect on the others. Suffice it to say, I had no idea that the body managed this without the awareness of myself as the body. It manages so much for us to keep us alive without us even knowing!  Shows how much knowing gets us.

So lets take on one point right now and move with insulin dosages. When I was diagnosed I was on 2 types of insulin ( I still am on two types but one is a different type than what I started out with). One type of insulin I used lasted 12 hours and one that lasted four hours. Both types of insulin has a spike in the effectiveness to time ratio meaning that when I inject the insulin that lasts for four hours (Rapid) it works its `hardest`, `best`, after 2 hours after injection. So when I eat and inject insulin to be able to transfer the sugar within the blood stream into the cells, I must be aware/consider that after 2 hours is when the insulin is going to be working it's hardest, and to be honest I was never told WHY insulin peaks, only that it does peak and I must deal with it. Through research I found that the insulin molecule starts out as a hexamer,

With that variable taken into consideration, if I end up going low an hour after injection (low meaning below 4 mmol/l of sugar within the blood) I know that I am going to have to still monitor my sugar levels and I usually expect to continue to go low when this happens because the insulin has not reached it' s peak performance yet, I then have to eat more or I must eat again when I go low again. The pancreas manages the blood sugar between 4 and 8 mmol/l all the time every time excreting enough insulin perfectly every time one eats to always keep it in that range, there is no need to consider any spikes, or insulin rates, or how much one eats, or if one has ate too much or if the pancreas has secreted enough insulin because that is all managed automatically with or  without our awareness or consideration of what it in fact does.

And let me tell you, in order to keep the blood sugar between 4 and 8 all the time takes a great deal of effort,  I must check my blood sugar almost every hour to make sure that I regulate it if I were to attempt to keep it at 4-8 the entire day. I say that it is impossible to maintain it at 4-8 all the time because once I eat it takes 15 minutes for the food to start to be broken down and the nutrients extracted, so in order for me to be 4-8 at the end of the four hour duration of the insulin being active;  the first hour I must be around 12-13 in order for the insulin to reach it's peak and descend with the blood sugar ending up at 4-8 at the end of the time that the insulin is effective. There is the insulin pump which constantly injects the rapid insulin into the body at a constant rate at a slow pace, with the ability to inject a large dose of insulin when one eats, but this as well works on rapid insulin which still has the peak effectiveness which still boils down to having to go high at first in order to maintain the blood sugar levels later on. To cross reference this, I tested my sister's blood sugar after she ate quite a bit of candy because I wanted to know that from that large amount of candy, if the blood sugar would go above 8 on a non-diabetic, so I tested her sugar level and it was 8 on the spot, which was cool feedback for me. In this I have to take the responsibility for the pancreas, take responsibility for managing the blood sugar level to assist me in staying alive. To consider that the body does this unconditionally no matter what we do is quite cool = it does this to support us even when/as we abuse the body with what we ingest.

The second type of insulin lasts 12 hours with a spike after six hours. This insulin was called NPH. What this insulin does is regulate the blood sugar throughout a 12 hour period with me injecting it every 12 hours. Why it regulates it over the 12 hour period is because the liver will produce a hormone called glycogen that will inevitably heighten the blood sugar throughout time without any insulin to act as the transmitter for the sugar to pass into the cells, that is why the insulin is designed to last 12 hours - because the liver is consistently producing this hormone. Again this is another variable to consider as it must be the right amount for the specific person and if too much one will end up going low quite frequently throughout the day, if too little one is quite high throughout the day. As well, it must be considered where you inject it, and whether or not you go too deep or not deep enough when injecting into the skin. Too deep, you hit muscle, it hurts, and causes the insulin to act too quickly, too shallow and one does not hit the layer of fat beneath the skin causing the insulin to not follow the desired effect, in addition to this, where on the body one injects also has an effect, wherein each part of the body will have a different amount of fat which the insulin must move through to work effectively, causing the amount of fat to slow down the rate of effectiveness.

What I am getting at within this blog post is that the body is specific in how it operates and functions in order to keep us alive within the body so that we have the opportunity to live here on Earth, and that when we take away a single aspect of the body only then we realize what the body actually does for us, what the body is capable of, and how hard it is to manage the body the way the body does through external means. This is to give a perspective on possibly what you were not aware of, to show how much the body does for us each day and each time we eat, and most of the time we are not considering the body, most of the time we are up in our heads, thinking , worrying about emotions and feelings, in this missing the body and it's amazingness and what is does to keep us alive even if we are abusive assholes. We must consider the body, the physical, and all it does for us to live here in the physical and stop considering the mind, as shown through me, I had not an iota of an idea what it took to manage the body, but through creating diabetes within myself I had to see, and in this seeing; realize the body does much more then what we are aware of as we supposedly `live` our lives.

Sport and Sugar

As a kid I was quite active. I would play around a lot. I was a fast kid so I enjoyed running fast, I did track later on, I tried rollerblading, I would bike through forests and go off of dirt jumps. I really enjoyed a lot of sport and activities with my body. I joined soccer when I was in grade 3, which I enjoyed a lot because I could run a lot and use my speed to my advantage, and attempt to win. From the age of 4 or 5 until I was 10-11 I was very active, most days doing something. I was also heavily, not addicted per say, but participated in video games and television…actually yes I would say I was addicted. When I was younger I remember on the weekends always renting a video game, wanting to beat it quickly I would wake up really early, and basically play it the entire day, with periods of activity in between, that was the majority of my time. I would also come home and sit down for hours watching television and being influenced by that. Luckily the activity that I did was a balance with my sedentary lifestyle.

My diet consisted of candy, and carbohydrates. Fruit and vegetables was rarely in any of my meals, I was brought up on grilled cheese, peanut butter and jam sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, cereals, and whenever I could get my hands on candy I would consume it until I was ill. I remember being given the opportunity to go down to the store and buy myself my own cereal. Previously to this I had wanted the most sugar infused cereal possible, always being denied getting it as many parents do in the grocery store. Now I was free from parental supervision, and I was able to get what I wanted. So I got cereal that I saw as loaded with sugar, looking for the words chocolate and a picture of a cereal that had candies embedded in the cereal as well. All of this food was not balanced through the intake of fruits and vegetables which would give me fibre to assist in breaking down the extensive amount of carbohydrates that I was eating. The fiber would have created somewhat of a balance to the food that I was eating and stop the excessive carbohydrates that I was eating. My addiction to sugar was extensive as well. My relationship with sugar has always been a reward system and I associated sugar with happiness, so if I was feeling down I would turn to sugar to keep myself happy, I allowed my world to revolve around sugar, and through the influence of media with kid shows demonizing vegetables…"Ew, Broccoli" I decided in that moment that I as well didn't like broccoli, then with the constant commercials supporting high sugar food and candies I started to want those too. Understand that my mother was a single mother, and living in a suburban neighbourhood I was easily susceptible to these things. She had to have time to herself to, she could not easily manage 2 kids, a full time job, and then her other responsibilities on the side, so I was left to find my own way basically. Then with the media's influence on children I became a violent, sugar abusing, little shit that wanted what I wanted without compromise.

In sports as well they would give out the majority of the time popsicles, candy, other various frozen treats, and when they did give fruit I did not like it so much because it wasn't candy. So eventually I ended up quitting soccer because I was not winning as much, in that looking for another happiness source to maintain the influx of happiness, in which I turned to more sugar, and more of a sedentary lifestyle wherein it was easy for me to win at videogames so I started to play them more and it was easy for me to generate emotions and feelings when watching a television show so I started to do that more, still playing with friends from time to time, but we would then mostly play video games together. My diet stayed the same, mainly carbohydrates and candy, rarely eating fruits and vegetables, not getting the necessary fiber that I needed.

All of the carbohydrates that I was taking in had a massive effect on my body and it took 2 years for it to manifest into diabetes. Too many carbohydrates meant that my pancreas was producing an extensive of insulin in order to maintain my blood sugar at the levels that they are supposed to be. Over time breath by breath the amount of carbohydrates became too much and the body started to react to the insulin that I was producing because with all the food that I was consuming with less and less activity the cells has an enormous amount of energy that they could use but weren't so the body saw that the insulin was damaging the cells through being a transmitter of the glucose in the blood stream to the cells and since there was no activity to use up the glucose in the blood stream the body said, what the fuck is going on?, and decided to attack the insulin producing cells in the pancreas to stop the harm that I was doing to the body, causing the sugar in the blood stream to build up causing a physical consequence that I could see with me being thirsty and having to pee at an alarming rate.

So here are the factors that was involved in me being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Take into consideration what children are doing to their bodies with the sugar intake and consider what influences them in their food intake. The media is a terrible fucking perpetrator in the push for more sugar consumption, and look at all the foods that are designed for children, they have outrageous quantities of sugar in them. Diabetes will become more of an epidemic than it is now if things are not changed, because we are getting more sedentary than ever before.

The Ambulance Ride

My sister  wakes me up at 3 in the morning telling me that there is a police officer at the door. In my childhood, I was a little shit sometimes, so I quickly check if there was anything wrong that I have done recently that would involve the cops. I don't see any reason for them to be there regards to my `bad` actions, so I put on pants and walk confidently down the stairs to see what was going on. The police officer says that I must come with him to the hospital and that was all that was said to me. I wasn't informed of what was exactly going on. I knew it was a big deal because this was far out of the pattern of my routine life, but I could not figure out exactly why this situation was presenting itself. I walk upstairs put a shirt on, walk out the door to see an ambulance sitting in the driveway with its lights flashing. My initial reaction was of shock. I thought that I would be traveling with the cop, never considering that an ambulance was sent to the house as well. I walk into the ambulance alone, while my mother and sister follow in the cop car, sit down on the uncomfortable seat being told to buckle up…not understanding that I would have to buckle up for the remainder of my life, riding the ups and downs of my blood glucose levels.

In the ambulance the paramedics were asking me questions: "Did you eat anything before you went to bed" "2 pepperettes" I told them as they were taking blood from my finger and placing it on a machine. They wait a bit and the one says to the other "He is still at 32", ignoring the fact that I am there to. By the way I still had no idea what the fuck was actually happening , so for a note to paramedics who may read this who may be in a similar situation, EXPLAIN what is going on to the patient instead of leaving them guessing for the entire time allowing fears and ideas and beliefs pop up in their heads. As they said that I was still 32, in my mind I was hoping that I was supposed to be at 27, in hopes that I was not as fucked as the situation presented itself to be. To calm my fears I start small talk with them, like why can they not wear seatbelts but I have to? Was eating pepperettes a bad thing? I did not want to be in that situation at all. I wanted to carry on with my life ignorantly of anything, not having to deal with reality as shown in my previous blog, where I did not consider the reality of the physical body and the effects my eating habits were having on the body. The paramedics and I sit in silence for the remainder of the ride.

When we get to the hospital, I sit in the ambulance while we wait for the patient ahead of us in the ambulance queue to be processed. This gives me time to mull over thoughts in my head about what exactly is going on. There is a lot of fear within me, but I have placed trust within the paramedics, believing that they know how to take care of me, which helps suppress the fear a bit. I get out of the ambulance and meet up with my sister and mother before the hospital entrance. With a minimal understanding of what is going on we walk straight into the ER. We walk past the front desk where the nurses and doctors are stationed, and as I walk pass the doctor was in surprise that I was walking on my own two feet. She expected me to be unconscious in a diabetic coma telling me that when I got my blood tested that afternoon I was up at 57…later I find out that my cousin, who is also type 1, was carried into the hospital in my uncles arms unconscious when she had a similar ordeal. After I walk in I am lead to a room in the ER, laid down on a bed and was hooked up to an IV to give me the necessary help to help calm my sugars and restore my body to the normal functions of the body. As I laid there I wasn't aware that that night was the first night of being a diabetic for the rest of my life.

For others who may go through similar processes, ask what is going on, if you are unaware of the situation ask questions until you understand. Surprisingly children are quite intelligent despite what adults may perceive them to be, so explain to them what is going on, they will understand.  I will blog about how sport and my sugar intake as a kid assisted in the development of type 1 diabetes.

When I Fainted In Class

I was in grade 8 at the time of the incident, making me 14. I had been drinking excessive amounts of liquids. I would drink a litre carton of juice in 15 minutes and pee it out in the next 15 minutes. The thirst that I has was unquenchable, and I tried fucking hard to quench it. My family first noticed this when I was out for dinner with my father. I told him that evening that I had been incredibly thirsty for quite some time so I would like a large drink. Usually I would never finish my drink when going out on the weekly dinner with my father, but this time it was the first thing I finished. We went driving around for a bit and I asked if I could get some water went to a coffee place and got a cup of water that tasted like it had coffee in it. I didn't care though I drank that as fast as I could, to which he replied "Wow you really are thirsty today". Nothing was questioned in this moment, all I knew is that I was incredibly thirsty and peeing a lot. This was, of course, a major difference in my body function and at that time I was assuming that it would eventually go away, which it did not. This thirst lasted for, from what I can remember a bit over a week, until I fainted in class, when my world changed.

That day we were dong a morning exercise, that we had recently set up as a class, to get our bodies flowing in the morning. I pushed myself quite hard in the physical exercise as I have always done with physical activity. We then were in the cool down period, standing breathing, taking a rest, so that out heart rates would calm down appropriately. I was standing against the blackboard with my friend next to me, and all I remember is black going limp and then waking up on the floor with everyone in a circle around me. Through stories shared by my friends, I leaned on my friend who I was standing beside, whom was quite a large fellow…possibly I thought that he will be able to handle me as I went unconscious into blackland. During this my other friend started to yell "Woah, WOah, WOAH!," as he watched my body collapse onto my one friend. Then I woke up, was a bit dizzy then got up and felt fine after 10 or so minutes. I had no consideration if anything was wrong with my body, I felt fine so I assumed everything with me was fine. Later that day I went and got blood work done, needle in blood comes out into tubes and off I go. Little did I know that my life from then on would involve needles on a daily basis. I went home after that and was still drinking a large amount of liquids. I have a specific memory of my feet being propped up on a desk watching television with a carton of juice to my side and a bag of cinnamon hearts in my lap, getting up every half hour to take a piss.

To my knowledge everything was fine, I was only drinking lots and having to pee out lots. I was still functional, I was still breathing, I was still alive and that’s all I considered. That was the problem that lead to all this, I did not consider my human physical body at all. I did not consider what I was putting into my body, I liked sugar and that’s all I cared for, I liked eating what I wanted, when I wanted, that's all I cared for. I did not consider that my human physical body is life itself, I did not consider that this physical reality has manifested consequences through actions, I did not consider that what I put into my body and what I did with my body had a lifelong effect. I did not consider that my human physical body can be fragile to what I put in it, I did not consider that all the candy that I was eating was having a detrimental effect on my life, I did not consider myself as life in fact. So that night I ate 2 pepperettes before bed, went to sleep feeling fine to my consideration.

The next thing that happens; I am woken by my sister telling me that there is a cop at the door for me.

I will continue in the next blog.

My Experience being a Diabetic with the Ketogenic Diet

 Prior to being diagnosed with diabetes I was 80lbs, I was quite thin, I had a `good` looking body in that aspect. Then from being diagnosed with type 1 I started to inject insulin when I rapidly gained 40lbs in about a 4 month span. Why did this happen? Because the lack of insulin that my body was producing was not allowing the body to gather the carbohydrates that I was taking in and transfer them into the cells so that they can use up the energy within the glucose. What happens here is that sinec the body is not getting sugar in the form of glucose by body started to eat the fat away from me causing me to be quite thin, and from the perspective of `looks` there was nothing wrong with me, but what was in fact happening was that my liver was breaking down my fats in my body to allow an energy production to happen. This was causing ketones to flow through my blood in excess which cause keto acidosis which makes the blood toxic to all the organs that it flows to, which is the entire body.

I was incredibly thirsty in this time, I would drink a litre of juice (not knowing I had diabetes, I thought that was fine) within a half hour then piss it out immediately because my body was attempting to get rid of the ketones within the blood stream. It is a problem when the body needs more water than normal because that entail that it is trying to get rid of something in the body through flushing it out. Drinking more water is not the solution to working with ketones, because the build up of ketones is the issue, not the fact that the body needs to flush it out. And the build up of ketones is from the burning of fats, because the body’s primary source for energy is glucose…there is a reason for the pancreas to exist, if we only needed to burn fats then why would we need the pancreas to allow glucose to enter the cells, and why not just use fats predominantly?, so when it has to resort to is secondary source for creating energy there are consequences involved with doing so, that being the creation of ketones causing the blood to become toxic and the body to require more fluids to assist in removing the toxicity. Understand that keto acidosis is an excess build up of ketones in the blood stream, the body does burn fats as well, but burning too much fats is extremely detrimental to the physical body through the toxicity that is produced.

Yesterday I worked with the ketogenic diet to find out if it will be assisting for me as a diabetic. Diabetic keto acidosis is when there is too much glucose in the blood stream through lack of insulin causing the body to burn fats, and then creating ketones. This happens predominantly when the blood sugar is high, so I made sure that I did my morning and evening injection so that I had my base rate of insulin to counteract the natural elevation in the blood sugar throughout the day, without the injection of carbs. I made sure that I covered this point because being too high would be detrimental to my health. I ate fruit periodically throughout the day when I would go low to keep my blood sugar to where it needs to be. Throughout the day I was exactly where I needed to be, there was not a reading that I was above 8, but that does not mean that it was `good`. With the injection in the morning and the physical activity that I did throughout the day and eating small amounts of carbs, I went low periodically. Before I went to sleep I checked my blood sugar and it was at 4.0 so I ate a banana because 4.0 is on the verge of being low. When I would normally eat carbs throughout the day eating a piece of fruit like this should have at least put me up to 6.0. I woke up to being 2.7 which means that my body used up all the sugars in the banana plus some to get what it needed.

It is best to not demonize one thing and glorify another, there is a reason for the organs in the body and they all have their uses, so if an organ is removed from the equation through diet it is going to have consequences on the body which may show up later down the road or with immediacy. Best to investigate the best balance between each category of food before one says that it is this way or that way, not using information but testing it through self.