Saturday, March 26, 2011

Stimulating myself

Mar 26th 2011 10:29am

I am looking for something to interact within. I am looking for a game simply. I have been sitting here being the observer and would like to participate in something. I was about to play a video game, and participate within that, but I decided to write and I feel as though now my writing is distracted. Ok so simply the point here is I am distracting myself from placing myself here. I am using excuses to avoid appling myself here. I am not allowing myself to fully place myself here, I am within the mind looking for stimulation. Not placing myself within the physical touch as myself, and looking to escape to somewhere or something to stimulate myself. I am not taking in the information that I am reading, not listening, off in my mind for stimulation so I am going to participate in something physical…I am going to skateboard in a bit and see where that takes me. I have gone through this pattern before and usually when I skate like this I am not thrilled with it as I am still looking for stimulation not expressing myself within the physical, so I mean I am going to have to place myself within the physical, not looking for stimulation. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from/as stimulation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and place responsibility for my stimulation on the environment around me. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to place myself here stimulating myself as the physical here, waking myself up here as the physical.

Cool so immediate response. I placed myself here as that and used breath to make myself stay here and stop searching for something. I breathed and stopped the search for something stimulating. I placed myself within touch and breathed.

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