When I first got off
the plane in Durban I didn't know what to expect which was cool because
previously to departing from Canada I was removing all expectations and ideas
about what may happen and/or what it would be like. I had lost my luggage
somewhere along the trip so I was informing the airport of the lost luggage as
fast as I could so that I could stop waiting to meet Bernard as I knew he was
just waiting outside the doors to Durban. 
When I walked
outside the doors I saw HIM!!! (lol) standing there with Cerise and I
immediately smiled because I was finally there, and finally going to live on
the farm for a bit. I was doing what I had planned for quite sometime, I am
meeting Bernard, I am going to get to find out what the farm is actually like,
I am going to meet people in person whom I have followed over the internet for
a few years. I was excited. 
I got to the farm at
night, so everything was dark and I was not sure where or what everything was.
The first thing I remember when I got out of the car was Lindsay randomly
popping up beside me and saying hi with a hug then Sunette saying hello with a
hug as well. Most people were asleep at that time, so I got some food to eat
and had a quick tour in the dark of where things were and how the farm was
structurally set up. This was cool because immediately it was inviting.
Immediately I felt welcome, I didn’t feel out of place, I was fed which was a
bonus lolol and was accommodated for, my room was made ready the day before by
the people on the farm. Since I lost my luggage, I was given some
clothes to use, so everything from the start was welcoming, everything was
provided for without having to ask...it was all very accommodating. 
Getting accustomed
to the routine didn't take too long. I had a bit of trouble getting up in the
morning for work and when I had horses in the mornings I missed it more
frequently then I made it to the horses. But the fact that there is a routine
there helped to get accustomed quickly as I quickly knew what to expect in the
days and how and where to direct myself in each new day. This was cool as it
gets into the movement of the farm really quickly. I didn't wander around on my
own slowly getting accustomed to the place I was placed within it without
question, again which is cool because it sped up the process of getting
accustomed with the structure on the farm allowing me to fit myself within the
structure. 
Since the farm is
incredibly welcoming, I was `myself` much quicker than in other environments.
It usually takes me a long time to find out how to develop myself within a
specific environment so that I can `fit` in, such as with work or moving to a
different city, but on the farm it didn't take long. I was able to express
myself after about a week of being there, in this having conversations with
more people and getting to know them as well as sharing myself. I was happy
there because of this fact. I was invited and accommodated for, in this I felt
welcome as that is what they did, they welcomed me into the farm. I have never
experienced that before where I am able to move into a place and within a week
I feel absolutely comfortable. That was a big point for me which was comfort. I
usually don't feel comfortable outside of my accepted reality, but at the farm
comfort was all around. I was able to relax myself in fact, I didn't need to
pretend to be anyone to survive, I did not need to develop another personality
to fit in, I was comfortable in/as myself, and sharing myself not having to
speak words to upkeep the personality in a specific environment
I enjoyed the amount of animals and the wild life that I haven't been able to witness before. On the drives to town often I would see monkeys crossing the road or swinging from branches just off to the side. We had 2 antelopes (I think) hanging around the farm every morning, jumping around in the horse field. I had no idea how well they could jump and traverse land like that, really cool to see. The dogs there were supportive as well, twice they helped out when defusing a build up of energy within a point through showing us that we are still here, the cats were cool, it took a while to get used to how they like to be pet and treated, but once a few cats started coming around the others would start to trust me more as well. The animals were a large part in support of the welcoming and comfort that existed there. Ohhh the comfort. There was many things for me to do there and to help out in, in this I was included in the farm and not seen as an outsider, or a `visitor` but as an equal in this I felt comfortable as I was not expected to act in any way or present myself in any way but to simply be there and do the duties that were required of all equally.
Even within sharing
myself there was comfort. I shared points about being addicted to sex and
masturbation and in that others shared how they got over it and what they
utilized to get over it, in that there was a comfort in sharing and exposing
myself and hearing others stories in which I was able to apply to myself. Talk
about relationships was really cool as much was shared in how they had to
maintain the agreement and how they had to maintain the agreement and deal with
the shit within the agreement and then once getting through the shit and
dealing with the shit for the best of the agreement the agreement turned out to
be awesome and completely supportive of each in the agreement. Again here
comfort within sharing stories, me about past relationships and how I had been
within `em and them sharing how they dealt with the shit within the agreement
to make the best of the agreement. 
I faced the diabetic
point within me to an extent where I am not uncomfortable sharing the fact that
I have diabetes and how diabetes works and what I must do to maintain the body
with insulin injections and testing my blood. Before I was ashamed of having
diabetes and having the point pushed within me allowed me to see it as an
opportunity to explore instead of holding it as a burden over me. I this I had
to develop discipline to test and to stick to a strict diet at times to test
out how the diets and foods affect the body and how my relationship with the
body also affects the insulin and blood readings.
Overall I enjoyed
the fuck out of the time I spent there. It is a second family. A family that is unconventional in the family sense, because we all come from over the world and know each other and share ourselves/experiences to the core of who we are. We all share the same points and are
supportive. It is not like the `normal` families where self interest is
rampant, it is a family that supports the best possible living conditions of
the family. And being included in the family was a joy unlike all other joy. I plan on returning every year when possible.
