`Me` Time

An interesting point yesterday was brought up within me and that point was `me` time. I looked at what `me` time was. That is where I give myself time to not care. I looked at what I did within `me` time, and I end up watching skateboarding videos for quite a while or looking a funnies on the internet, or watch some program on tv to entertain myself. So using the words `me` time is deceptive and dishonest, as all time is my time. I have all time to myself it is only what I choose to do within that time is what is relevant. Removing the words me time from that and equating all time equally, I saw that I was simply using that time to not give a fuck and to stray away from myself in actuality. I allow myself to give up on breath within `me` time and I allowed myself to not care about the current state of the world when participating in `me` time. Me time thus is dishonest, thus is deceptive, thus is abusive. Thus I am dishonest, I am abusive, I am deceptive.


Until I create all time as a process of self-investigation I will not change, as I have always used the excuse `ok enough `work` I have `me` time now` within which I am deliberately giving up on changing myself or pushing myself past any points. Me time is a lie to myself. There is no me time, the me time that I participate in is self-interest simply.

A few years ago I was completely invested in desteni,, in reading the material, in living the material, all of that. Only recently have I started to become more self-interested, so I have fucked with myself. I enjoy reading the material I enjoy writing, I enjoy living the material and discovering how to live it effective that is the real Me time, that is truly what I enjoy. The `me` time that I have participated in is simply self as the mind interest. It supports everything of the mind and as soon as I accept myself participating in `me` time and do not stop I allow everything of the mind to come back to me as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in `me` time

I forgive myself that I have hidden behind the words `me` time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self-interests of the mind that feed the mind with mind definitions

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all time Is me time

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to participate in what I truly enjoy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed to change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a pattern that is thinking.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to define process as work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define dishonesty as `playtime` or `me` time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply realize that I enjoy process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self interests as self being of the mind

I stop allowing myself to participate in self interests

I stop and breathe and check my starting point when I participate in what I have defined as self-interest and move myself within self-honesty

I am going push myself to continually participate in process investigating myself and changing myself seeing where I can take myself and expand myself within.