Friday, March 18, 2011

The Individual does Not Mattter

Mar 18th 2011 9:06pm

So when I fell I did not want to write and I did not want to vlog. I wrote but did not vlog. The expression that existed within me at that moment was `you better not show your face around here`. I did not want to show my face and I thought that I had disgraced process as a being or entity separate from myself. Thought that I had disgraced life as it is something separate from me. So I allowed myself to write myself out and this shows me that writing has now become a habit which is beneficial for me, but I did not vlog about it because I did not want to face myself within it. So now I vlogged about the point of depression and giving into this morality design within myself, and I realize that I am still here. There is really nothing to fear because I am still here. So all of this moral belief and ideas about myself being a good person or bad person or better person or less than person doesn’t exist nor actually affect me because I am still here and truly nothing has changed and nothing did change. I only became aware of the fact that I was moving myself within process out of the want to `make` it and become special and significant to myself…so that I can attain that belief of myself being special or significant…same point why I allowed psychosis to exist within me. So simply I have to do this process never for self any longer, but for others as self, study self as others, so that I may understand myself as others, and thus assist and support others. Participate within desteni to support an EMS which is best for the whole, which is best for all. It is not to focus solely on myself as an individual because on the whole I do not matter, no ONE matter on the whole, each one matters as the whole and if one does not participate in the whole then one does not matter. So within this right now not many people matter as most of us are still participating in self-interest only focusing on ourselves as an individual not as a part of the whole. So it does not matter whether or not I make it, does not matter if anyONE makes it, it matters if the whole is able to pull ourselves out of this hole we have dug ourselves into.

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