Facing the Entirity of Myself

A Question was asked of me if I had participated in one of the Private forum Chats. I had said no as there was a resistance to Facing Bernard...myself. She said that she had the same resistance but it was only her seeing the entirity of herself in the form of Bernard. So the question is if I can see myself and the entirity of myself why do I not forgive it and move past it. Why do I fear facing myself?...there is a resistance to posting this so moving past it....How come I am allowing myself to exist dishonestly? How am I allowing myself to exist dishonestly?