Mar 24th 7:10pm 2011
I had coffee and some food with my dad today and got to speaking about desteni and an EMS. Ok so first point here is what is cool is that I speak money and the system mostly with my father, and the emotions and feelings side of the system with my mother. Anyways while talking to me dad I had many reactions come up within me. As we were talking about me going to Houston, he questioned about how many people would be going there. I said right now 5-6 but more are invited. He asked how many people were at the farm….5? in a sarcastic condescending tone. In this moment I shut myself down immediately. I noticed that he was purposely pushing my buttons to get a reaction out of me and noticed that he does and has done this many times to which I have previously reacted. This time I shut myself down. No reaction no movement of energy no thoughts other than he is pushing my buttons to get a reaction out of me….so I still have buttons I must remove those lol, and in that moment I became silent did not express anything and disregarded that comment and started new. It was a simple expression of myself not participating in that. LOL I noticed that he is oh so dishonest about himself and does not want to admit It, wants to still exist in his state of idealogical bliss, so I am going to stop participating in speaking to him about desteni, as he has many reactions to it….lol one reaction is asking him to drive me to the airport to go to Houston. He asked why, I said a Desteni NA meeting, he said “Oh God”… LOL. I brought this point up with him today, as I said that he is the only one left in the family who is still against me in desteni, manipulating him in that moment to support me lol, and he said no I am not against you to which I laughed, and stated the above comment he had made. Stating that comment changed his expression immediately because he noticed his dishonest actions in that moment…by and by I am grateful that he is driving me to the airport as I was half expecting him to refuse because it is in relation with desteni. Shows that he is not holding desteni against me and is still reacting to the idea of what it is. Ok so that was a lot about him. So I experienced where I could be directed within that situation of speaking to him and allowing my buttons to be pushed and I did not want to go there and become angry and frustrated. LOLOLOLL one part I enjoy in that conversation is talking about how much money a day he needs to survive, in relation to jobs. He was going on about having a different job and the amount of money he needs to live, saying that if he had this one job then it would be 300 and if he had his current job then it would be different. I was laughing so hard at this point because I saw a ridiculousness within it because in his current situation he should need the same amount of money to live no matter what job he has. I saw him scratch he back of his neck which was ego and noticed that through laughing I was hurting his ego lol I said sorry for laughing and he said yeah…god. I see this point now as funny too. And this shows me that I do not want my ego hurt, so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto my ego and beliefs of myself and fear being laughed at.
I understand that laughter comes from self, that in that moment I was laughing with myself, not at him, laughing at the ridiculousness that I saw in the situation, not at him.
Anyhow the awesome point here is that talking with him about money and equal money shows me my understanding and how fucked up money really is. I enjoy talking with him about money and equal money because my father construct which is about money is heavily within me so I can move on this point smoothly as we can relate to eachother easier, then talking about emotions and feelings. I am able to come to more of an understanding of money and the affects of money within this world through speaking on this point with my father. I am able to understand my understanding of an Equal money system through speaking about it with him which is very assisting.
We were talking about how money allows things to blossom, which I have seen as a very cool perspective on money. Meaning that if you place money into something say an electric car industry that industry will then blossom, become more relevant in `today’s world`. And the point here is that only companies have had money injected into them to blossom, so companies are the only thing that blossoms and companies only want more money = to keep themselves alive. We have created companies in the image and likeness of ourselves. I mean there is no money being injected into anything to blossom the living conditions. I mean war is the most funded aspect within the political agenda so this is showing what is going to blossom and continue to blossom. Lol I do not want to use the word blossom because war is not a flower. Hospitals are not funded properly so the support of life that they are there fore will degrade. So I mean what can we fund that will blossom life? The living conditions of life? For 1 and obvious reasons an Equal Money System, as the entire system will thus then support life. So I mean what exists in this world currently that is supporting life? What exists within this world currently that is not out of the want for more money? FUCK even humans are subject to this, so then the question occurs are we actually life, or just another fucking company, that runs on regulations and rules, and is subject to survival through money/energy? Are we life or just another cog in the machine of the entirety of the system? Well in this math we are machines, we are just another company as ourselves alone, only looking/caring out for our own survival LOLOOL we compete with eachother believing this to be beneficial for ourselves through making ourselves better LOLOL just like companies do, they create many sister companies under one parent company to compete with eachother to `better eachother` to make more money but in the end they all die, so why compete. It is senseless and it actually does not support progress. I mean you cannot compete, if you compete with another just because they exist, it does not matter whether you perceive yourself to be winning or losing, you are simply deceiving yourself from the fact that they are your sister, your brother, Made from the exact same genetic code = EQUAL. So yeah I mean even ourselves are not allowing ourselves to blossom into life, as we are only just another company looking for more money to `further/better` or survival not realizing that the ones who we are competing with are our equals.
Simply Support an Equal Money System, to show who you are as life and thus blossom, support this system and stay a machine, a company, and eventually wither away until you are left an empty building/body.
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