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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Seriously?!

I am not seeing the physical istuation I am only seeing the mental. Meaning that I am seeing the mental side of things when I look at a being I am not registering the fact that they need to eat, breath, and have shelter over their heads all I fcking see it the clothing, the appearance of them I see intelligence, or lak there of, I see age, I see discrimination, I see separation of myself from the fact that I need to eat. I mean !!! seriously? Was that what I was missing? It is. I could not get myself out of this point lol this is sad from the fact that I separated myself from life that much. We all need to eat we all need to breathe! Jesus this is so obvious but I have been trying to think my way ot of this shit only digging myself deeper. I still think about the appearance and how they `appear` to me. I have been thinking of and as the mind trying to find a difference from each person to the next not looking for similarities always trying to define and separate so that is what I have done to myself = separated myself from life, from breath, from eating, from everything that supports my life.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so blind that I did not allow myself to see/realize that All beings need to eat, that all beings need to breathe, that all beings feel pain, that all beings need to be supported. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see every human as they `appear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as I appear. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to define appearance. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand that all beings no matter what need to eat, the must breathe, that I am equal to them in breath, that there is no difference between me and them within breath. So if I have disregarded this fact within other people I have disregarded it within myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to not be aware that each breath supports my life. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I need each breath for my life. I forgive myself to create this living experience through/as breath. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to breath life into me and let go within exhaling. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that each breath is me as my life. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to breath in each moment allowing myself to create and direct each moment. I forgive mself that I have given up my breath to thoughts. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support thoughts through breathing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not changing. I forgive myself thatI have not accepted and allowed myself to love myself by giving myself breath, food, shelter, to support myself as life. I forgive myelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe, eat, live, through and as thoughts supports thoughts, supporting the system, supporting my own enslavement. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all beings need to eat thus allowing others to not realize that all beings need to eat thus allowing starvation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat for taste. I forgive myself tat I have not accepted and allowed myself to eat for sustaining my life here in the physical. What did I create of myself! I have become the system entirely within looking at this. Every part of the system I am or have become. To the extent that I am not AWARE that I need to eat as all others to sustain my life. That I have never ate to sustain my life it has all about pleasing the mind/the system. Well enough of this we all need to eat we all breathe we are all the same within this physical life, I have been hearing the words but have not lived them as I have not lived a breath only what I believe to have been living a breath. I am breathing to support my life in each and every breath. Fucking crazy I am for not seeing this. And I feel embarrassed for this but it doesn’t matter as embarrassment does not support life. I forgive myself that I have not been aware that I need to breathe and eat to support my life

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