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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Today - My personality

Within/as my personality I am supportive and "friendly" and "nice", these are all definitions of myself aswell. When I write supportive, I support people as a Mind Consciousness System can, supporting another MCS. I offer people a release of their emotions by talking about them and giving them "advice" or I give them a cigarette. I do not support them as Life. I allow myself to laugh at their jokes even though I find them not funny, supporting them within their wants, if that is so, but I am not standing for myself but looking for them to accept me by "accepting them", THEM only as a mind not Life!

MY personality is who I have defined myself as, and within acting as my MCS/Personality I am acting out of "self" interest. When I define myself as a personality I am no longer a person. My personality I dislike. I fear acting as life. It is something I am not used to. I fear not being accepted so I accept everyone, unless a group has not accepted them which I will follow the larger group. I do not stand within myself as myself, but I allow myself to become a lemming and go along with the group, not having an individual presence but presenting myself as a group/friends.

This I must work on, standing up within myself as myself. I must apply common sense to all situations, stop breath and take in what I am facing as myself and not within my mind. But why am I writing this here. I am writing this here within HOPE that within writing it will manifest itself, so I do not have to take responsibility for standing as myself.

All that I must work on are entwined together into one. Looking at my Mind I become overwhelmed with the thought that I must overcome this to become life, to do what is best for me. I try and rip all the strings entwined to get rid of it as fast as possible. I do not look at the situation clearly and take my time to move slowly within/as it to untangle the points. I have looked at my process in a limiting way, because I have been the observer, not acting as or within but from without, trying to guide, not taking action.

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