Sunday, August 8, 2010

Self Willing

When I write I use words like I must, I have to, I must not, I can't etc.  These are all words that seperate me from myself within responsibility. I allowed myself to write in hopes that writing will automatically manifest what I think I want or think I need in regards of my process. I now use the words I will and I will not. When a point pops up that I usually resisited, I use to think "no" and run from the problem, but within the words I will not or I will I face the point directly and I direct myself.

I never have understood what this process was about. I never ended up investigating myself. I just expected to be "saved" by/within writing, apply self-forgiveness, and breathing. I never added myself into the equation. I have seperated myself Far! from myself. I write this even within seperation that within this I can take away some of my responsibility and put it on to anybody that reads it, and allow myself to fuck up. I will no longer accept writing within seperation. I will take responsibility for myself and my own life. I will be here. I will breath. I will let go of my imaginary world.

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