2012 Moving myself

Moving myself to get things done requires no involvement whatsoever in energy. I have been writing and writing and writing myself out each morning about my point of myself giving up each night and not being diligent and self-willed to get my homework done, to start to work on the assignment, this also leads to a point of doing things for rewards instead of doing them for me, but more on that another time. I tell myself in the morning that I am going to be self-willed today and work on the things that I have been putting off. That never happens, I get home and decide to watch funnies, entertain myself, and involve myself with the pursuit of happiness.

This pursuit of happiness has allowed me to continue the way that I have been approaching myself in being self-willed. My pursuit of happiness has been the point in which I allow myself to give up, give up myself being directive. I give up being diligent in my realtiy for happiness. The point of happiness goes like  this. I will get home sit down do the minimum that I need to do in order to maintain my reality with desteni and with the other things all the while backchatting about being diligent and within that using energy to maintain myself in the point of illusioned standing. I will then get all of my minimum daily requirements done and then look at the point of pushing myself to be more effective with myself through doing more than the minimum requirements of myself and decide against it pursuing happiness of my own accord.

What has to be approached here is letting go of the pursuit of happiness. I give up for happiness because  I see no happiness in doing the work that I must or in educating myself, although I enjoy it, I see no `happiness` within it and within the pursuit of happiness I then ignore doing what I have to do, and create excuses and justification as to why I should give up and why giving up is a good idea. Happiness here is from the perspective of that smile or laughing or spending, where ebing diligent is sitting with myself here creating myself in new ways in order to learn the material presented here in this reality...happiness is from the perspective of staying in my comfort zone, where diligence and dedication to myself is moving away from my comfort zone. 

In working on my English or desteni or writing a blog or making a vlog I must be here directing myself, not searching for a reward system of/as happiness and a `job well done`. My movements and actions must be for myself in what is best for me, not attempting for a point that I am separating myself from, for example I will reward myself with `downtime` when posting a blog, allowing myself to reward myself thinking I have done a good job and allow myself to move into energy and create an abundance of energy in relation to posting a blog, and from that ignoring myself here.

Thus the pursuit of happiness is quite fucked up. I am not happy I am only dumb. What I participate in in order to maintain my happiness keeps me in my limited shell, thus happiness is limitation from myself as life, thus in order to get shit done I have to let go of my want for happiness, place myself here and fucking do it simply, creating a starting point of myself and not for the search of happiness and letting go for any want or requirement for/as happiness in my life.