Judgment

Jan 13th 2011


I am going to start to write out a point within me every day and post it on a blog and do a vlog on it after I have written it out. I will not be able to post and share one each day because I do not always have access to the internet but I will still write one up and post each one that I have missed on a day where I have internet access.

I will start to write about judgment. This point came up in the morning and decided that it would be the one I would take on. I have been looking at how I judge, where it comes from and why I do it. I judge to try and create a definition for myself. I compare myself to others who I have solidly defined and relate myself to them within better or worse. 1 or 2, is or isn’t. I look at other people anddefine myself as better or worse compared to them and believing that I have a solid definition I start to think that I have a solid definition of myself. It starts from inferiority. I comparemyself on physical appearance to others, so what happens is that I have a inferiority construct within me and I allow that to define me as inferior, I then think that I am physically inferior to others as I compare physicality, that which I can immediately see. I then try and find some point that I have knowledge and information about that is part of their ego, as I cannot physically make myself superior, I try and make myself feel mentally superior, by using knowledge and information. So for instance, I would see a strong person, compare myself, define myself as inferior, and them being superior in relation to being strong and more attractive to women’s eyes, and convince myself that they are asshole, I am nice, they are idiotic, and I am intellectual and sophisticated, all because I believe myself to be inferior, based on attractiveness and sexual appeal to female’s eyes, so it obviously comes from a desire for sex and a relationship, and the whole alpha male bullshit.

I judge people based on fashion as well…I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value fashion, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fashion, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value a perception of cool. MEdia provides a sense of inferiority and superiority and significance onto people based on money….this is where it comes from. Money, from the point of having it or not. Relating to fashion, I judge based on clothing type. In the first second I look at a person I immediately place a value on them based on their clothing that they buy, so I place a value on them for their money, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and others based on money, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge based on money, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a judgment point from money, I forgive myself that I hae accepting and allowing myself to define myself as money, I forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to judge other based on money, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in this world to place money over life, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value money over life. This is interesting to see exactly how I judge and all the constructs that are involved = Inferiority, Money, Value, Sex, Relationship. It mostly stems from trying to place myself above others, and Why I judge so much is because I am controlled by the systems I have created within myself. Take alook from this perspective, I am allowing systems as mind to control a lot of me, therefore I am giving my power away a lot, therefore I am allowing myself to be inferior to my mind, I am not taking my power back, so I am constantly existing in inferiority from myself allowing myself to be controlled by my mind, therefore I am constantly looking for a point in which I can make myself seems superior, and this I tend to look at others for the answer, I judge others to console my own inferiority onto myself. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be equal to myself as mind, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist less than my mind, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be less than anything, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am equal to all life within breathing.

Judging is a useless form of trying to take my power back from myself, within giving it away to my mind. Since I have given my power away currently and I do not know where it went...I look to take power over other people, to make them think that I am more than them, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have power over other people. I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed myself to give my power away and thus look to have power over other people, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my own problems onto other people for a type of solace. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and solidify my own doubt of who I am by judging others. This is unacceptable in my life as life. I am equal to all beings.

I no longer accept myself as inferior to my mind, I am not going to allow myself to give up my own power to thoughts, feelings emotions, desires, beliefs, I am equal to it as it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my mind allowing power to remain as it and not as me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a power point within my mind and then separate myself from it. I am placing myself back here as my life, as the power of this body, mind, and I am recreating myself, by changing the system bit by bit, I am changing the pattern that is myself by changing the pattern physically.

Thank you Paul Quessy